Monday, May 2, 2016

Born Lucky...

So after I had my little rant at HuffPostWomen a couple of weeks ago (and had a great response from you lovely blog readers), I had an opportunity to write a follow-up article on the issue of the glorification of alcohol in social media here at The Addiction Advisor.

I shared this latest article on my Facebook page - where it also had a great response - and one person there commented.

"While I don't have a problem with drinking (born lucky), I'm surrounded in my life by many who do. Where do you draw the line between those of us who are able to have one drink that does us for days, and those where it's overtaken their lives? Does it mean preventing those of us from having that social drink? It doesn't bother me the memes are around - in fact I follow one - it doesn't affect me like it affects those who are grappling with a problem....where do you draw the line?"

I replied: "I think this is one of the most difficult questions regarding alcohol, and why it's tricky for those who regulate it's sale and marketing. Because for many people it is a relatively harmless liquid (they can moderate it and have it not be a problem), but yet for others it's quite the opposite (incredibly harmful and difficult to moderate and control). Personally I think as a society we haven't got the balance quite right of having it be freely available for those who can enjoy it safely yet make moves that acknowledge it isn't a simple commodity for others. E.G. by all means sell it but perhaps out of the supermarkets next to the bread and milk. And I think you 'draw the line' with the sharing of these memes etc when it is coming from a large influential media company. That's why the HuffPostWomen image annoyed me so much. Of course individuals can share and enjoy these memes if they want, but from a massive social media account celebrating women - not ok in my book. But that's just me! And I realise it is a futile fight. Just felt like having a rant for once. x"

Anyway - enough ranting! Today is a day of celebration because school is back after a 2-week holiday and my darlings have left the house. Finally I have some peace and quiet. I am sitting with a cup of tea, the dog sleeping at my feet, and the only sound I can hear is of the dryer churning away in the wash house. Bliss.

Just one last point. The Facebook commenter described herself as 'born lucky' for not having a drinking problem and I think that is fair enough for her to feel that way. But I consider myself to be born lucky as well.

I feel lucky that I developed into an alcoholic because only by recognising that fact and digging deep to get myself out of it have I experienced the wonderful gift that is recovery. Only by beating my addiction have I discovered what I am truly capable of. The turnaround I have experienced since I got sober, the connections I have made in the recovery community and the connections I have developed with myself and with my loved ones are so valuable and good.

I'm also lucky because I have discovered how great it is to live completely 100% sober, never touching alcohol ever. I have that stuff out of my life, I don't want a casual drink ever, I'm free.

So really - I'm the lucky one.

Love, Mrs D xxx

15 comments:

  1. Wise words, Mrs D. I wouldn't wish an alcohol problem on anyone but I'm awfully glad you're here in this online sober world! xo

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  2. But Mrs D, and the lady who replied to your fb post: A number of years ago I would have said how lucky I was that I could enjoy 1 or 2 drinks every now and then .... go for months without and never even think about it. But at some point that changed and I became one of the 'unlucky' ones. Who knows this will not happen to them??

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    1. That is exactly what I was going to say. I used to not have a problem, but then suddenly, I did.

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  3. We are all lucky too, to have landed up here in this online community at just exactly the right time. It is such a nice way to communicate and get our lives together....Together!!
    Congratulations you HERO Lotta......sheesh!! 1700 days today. Fantastic and Fabulous.

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  4. There is a certain point you reach in life where you think that there is no hope. i was at that point when my girlfriend for 4 years just walked away from me. but thanks to the DR.AGBAZARA TEMPLE who helped me bring back my husband who left me for another girl. i did everything as instructed by Dr.Agbazara,And after 48hours my husband came back begging me on his kneels to accept him back. if you know your love is what saving contact DR.AGBAZARA TEMPLE on email: ( agbazara@gmail.com ) or call him on +2348104102662

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  5. Wonderful insight as usual Mrs. D. I agree with Belle above that for many years I was also one of those "lucky" people who could enjoy in moderation... until I wasn't. I'm not sure I even believe in "moderate" drinking anymore - still working that one out in my head! Being free of all that is truly such a wonderful feeling.

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  6. I don't know that your commenter was "born lucky" so much as, "so far dodged the bullet". Anyone who drinks in any kind of a pattern (weekly, every weekend), anyone who ever drinks enough to be intoxicated, anyone who who has ever turned to alcohol to deal with sadness,anxiety, depression- is at risk.
    I wasn't born a smoker, but I smoked for a long time because nicotine is addictive.
    I agree with you that normalizing excessive drinking (and that's what we're talking about here) is harmful- more so for those who have the potential to develop a problem than for those to whom it's a trigger.

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  7. I love your perspective on how you feel lucky to be sober. I do too!

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  8. THANK YOU for putting a positive spin on this post. I was beginning to envy the woman who was born lucky, but you helped me appreciate that luck is within my grasp. I can keep on that lucky path of self-discovery and freedom. I feel like I am making my own luck these days. (34 days sober today.)

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    1. I was just thinking the same thing. Only Day Two for me but feeling hopeful. This blog has given me a massive dose of encouragement. We can do this.

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  9. Driving my kids to school this morning, I passed a car with giant lettering plastered over the rear end. It read: "Education is important but beer is importanter!" I mean...that's the message out there that our children grow up with. And we (NZ) wonder why we have a binge drinking problem...??!!!

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  10. You are the lucky one! I was just sharing with an online group that 'When I rid a setback like alcohol in my life, it opened up my ability to love more, to be more compassionate, to empathize....the list goes on. Without it I am more.' I am so grateful to have the challenge of digging deep into who I am. I am grateful to discover all of my abilities and understand self love. Life would not be fulfilling without realizing the beauty of who we really are.

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  11. Good for you, Mrs D!
    Your rant wasn't about being a killjoy - people need to stop accepting the stupid 'jokes' as truth because in reality there are so many women who hide behind these memes, all the while justifying or avoiding the niggling feeling that something might be not-quite-right about their relationship with alcohol.

    I stopped drinking a while ago, for a few months, then started again. Here's what I've written about it (on my fledgling blog): http://bettyunbottled.blogspot.com.au/2016/05/back-to-bottle-then-back-to-beginning.html

    B xxx

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  12. I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am reading your book and it has prompted me to make the necessary changes to quit drinking. I am only 5 days in but I have found great comfort from your words because in all honesty, they could have been mine. I always assured myself I wasn't an alcoholic because I only drank at night and not in the day.....how naieve of me!

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  13. Alcoholism does affect different person in a different way. Like look at Charlie Sheen! I'll call him lucky to be still alive and rich with his lifestyle.
    https://www.google.com/#q=Youth%2C+Alcohol%2C+and+Drugs+studymode And here are the youth who take up drinking and drown and washed away.
    Please stay in your limits! we are all adults here and it'll be better if we think like one.

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