I'm just going to say this quietly because I don't want to come across as all cocky and confident, and maybe this is another pink cloud floating by in my life (I love the whole pink cloud concept, why are they called pink clouds anyway?) but I just love love love love being sober.
I have so much more self respect. Someone once commented on my blog when I was going to an event and was nervous that I should 'raise a glass of self respect' instead of booze and I thought that was such a great concept. My self respect is so much higher now that I'm not feeling so horribly dysfunctional.
And another lovely Australian chap keeps commenting to me to 'be kind to myself' and I love that concept as well because it carries so much weight. It doesn't just say be kind, it says look after, nurture, love, protect. All those things are true when you are being brave and making a big scary, almost unheard of (in my circle of life) decision to live without alcohol.
I feel so much more 'in touch' with myself. This is a hard one to explain but when my brain isn't affected by alcohol so much any more I can trust all my feelings and emotions, know that I'm feeling them honestly and fully and not under a cloud. Also I don't have those little memories when they're vague and I think 'was I pissed when I thought that/said that/did that?'
I just feel better. Emotionally and physically. I had a huge weekend this weekend with a BBQ on Friday night, two parties on Saturday plus hosting a lunch here on Sunday. Last night Mr D and I got into bed at 7.23pm! and we were absolutely knackered, but I said to him how different it was to feel that exhausted feeling after a busy social weekend but without the headaches, sick guts, or guilt.
I actually can't think of a single reason why I would want to go back to wine again. Hope I'm not getting lulled into a false sense of security.
(Incidentally parties are fine sober until about 11pm when people start giving you sloppy hugs and stop making much sense and at that point slipping out the back door is advisable)
Love, Mrs D xxx