So I've been a bit grumpy, had a tummy bug on the weekend and didn't eat properly for 4 days, have had two drinking dreams, kids are being really demanding and I'm up against a deadline with my MA so am spending all my spare time writing and the rest of the time stressing that I should be writing, hence the grumpy-at-the-kids attitude, Mr D isn't around half as much with the long hours for his new job so I'm doing a lot of the parenting stuff alone and my young guy is now toilet training so I'm cleaning up a lot of accidents, it's raining and I feel like a bit of a stress cadet.
So! Time for some gratitude as someone sensibly suggested to me.
1) I am so fucking happy I could scream it from the mountain tops that I am sober!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fucking love that I am dealing with all of this shit without the added complication of necking loads of booze. Sorry about the swearing.
2) My boys are beautiful. They are noisy, rowdy, pushy, demanding, argumentative wonderful bundles of life. They live life at maximum level and as their mum I have to constantly negotiate, mediate, placate and nurture them not to mention feed, water, clean and rest them but I love them so much I really do. They are good, crazy, special boys.
3) I just bought a lovely scented candle.
4) I have a great husband.
5) I have many many lovely friends scattered around this country and around the world and even though I am still sad to not be close to my friends we have just moved away from I have decided that friends are like precious jewels that you gather up and they never go away.
6) I am actually really enjoying this MA work (although it is hard to be doing it while being a full-time mum, but that is my choice).
7) I have my health, aside from the afore mentioned bug, and did I mention that I am so-fucking-happy that I am looking after myself and not slowly ruining myself with booze??!!
8) I am one month away from being one year sober and that, my friends, is a very very good thing.
Love, Mrs D xxx