So Mr D has had a couple of boozy nights out lately and I've been faced with those feelings of being left out of something... feelings I'm going to live with for the rest of my life...
I'm always going to miss out on boozing along with other people.. and yes, sometimes that will be a bummer but to be quite brutally honest I simply cannot be bothered wasting any time or energy feeling sorry for myself about that.
Yes there will be nights when I sit on the sofa with a mug of green tea watching American Idol instead of slamming shots down at a party or bar.. but fuck it. That's just the way it has to be.
I feel quite aggressive about this inside my head like I can NOT be bothered wasting any energy feeling sorry for myself over this. Because the boozing that I miss out on will only be very rarely... and the rest of the time I'm so happy and pleased to be sober and it doesn't make a damn sight of difference.
It doesn't matter at the library at midday on a Monday if I'm sober. It doesn't matter on Wednesday at 4pm when I'm with my kids at the park. It doesn't matter at 10am on a Friday when I'm driving to a friends house for coffee, or on Sunday at lunch with the family. It doesn't even matter on a Friday night at home having steak and salad for dinner with a nice cold ginger beer. Those times are very do-able sober.
But yeah, sometimes it will matter a bit because it's a boozy party and people are boozing for fun and I won't be. But so what so what so what. Don't care don't care don't care. Just cannot be bothered caring.
Big picture wins out here, not 6 hours of woe-is-me.
This is a bit rambling... I'm off to bed now with my printed out thesis draft to continue proof-reading (amazing how many small mistakes and typos I am finding) and to watch some junk TV.
Love, Mrs D xxx