Sitting here with a mug of green tea. My body is aching from having been to the gym three times this week - three! A marathon effort given I had 10 weeks off exercising while I crunched to finish my thesis.
I just have to let it go now and try to relax. Have been told it will take 3 months for me to get grade back so I do just have to let. it. go. Somehow. Let it go and figure out what to do next.
Maybe my next task should be write a book about my journey in sobriety. What shall I call it? "Confessions of a Boozy Housewife"? Or maybe "How blogging saved my liver"? Or what about "What, me alcoholic?" Ha ha!! But seriously I am going to need to think of a new plan eventually.
In the meantime I've been cooking up a storm and I have a huge pile of novels next to my bed and am also dipping in and out of the brilliant recovery book Belle's been talking recently. Recover to Live. It is bloody marvellous resource and exactly what I was looking for when I first got sober and was frantically looking around for books and information to educate myself about alcohol addiction.
I did find a few books that really helped me along and also found some useful information off the tele (!) from the likes of Dr Drew and Oprah (!!). When I think back now about what I didn't know when I first decided to remove alcohol from my life it's astounding. I honestly thought I was simply an aging party girl whose drinking habit was getting a little out of control and I just had to learn how to not drink alcohol and everything else would continue on as normal. I didn't realise my steady heavy drinking was actually all about how I'd been choosing to deal with emotions all my adult life and what I would really be learning in sobriety was how to deal with shit raw. (That's a technical term - 'how to deal with shit raw'. Not.)
What I mean is I had to learn, and am still learning, how to sit with uncomfortable feelings, or go through hard (sad, angry, stressful) times without reaching for an 'out' or numbing away the pain.
When I look back over the past year and a half it is bloody amazing what I have discovered and I am sooooooo grateful to myself making the decision to remove alcohol and sticking to it. I wouldn't want to be anywhere but where I am today.
Anyway this book by Christopher Kennedy Lawford is a massive tome bursting at the seams with loads of information from so many clever, educated and knowledgeable recovery experts. If you have a question about anything to do with addiction the answer will be here. It's great. And I really like that it calls itself a 'self-treatment guide'. Self treatment is all I've done so far.
Actually that's a big fat lie. Self treatment and the undisputed, undeniable, unbelievable support of a community of online bloggers and readers. Kudos to you lot too.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Ok, I'm going to have to read the book. Its publisher sent a copy to me too and wanted me to promote it and give a free copy away so I guess I'll dive in and give it a look.
ReplyDeleteI think that a lot of us are finding success in recovery just the way you and I did it, through online blogs and other internet resources would be an excellent idea for a book, especially for someone who just finished writing a monster of a thesis and has such a great communion with her readers. I do, I do, really, I do.
I was just thinking the other day that I'm not sure I'd be where I am in my recovery if it weren't for this blogging community. It saved my liver too!
ReplyDeleteLove you girlfriend. Congrats again on being thesis free!!!!
Sherry
I can't remember how or on what day I found you amazing bloggers. I only know how helpful it is and continues to be. I have a long way to go, tons to learn and I am early in my sobriety.
ReplyDeleteI have Christopher Kennedy Lawford book - which I haven't read yet. I heard him speak a few years ago.... He has a lot of wisdom and experience. I think I'll get to reading it.
Thanks for the support...and my liver thanks you, too.
Mrs. D should totally write a book. There really aren't that many good personal stories out there....because I have been buying them for years! The personally stories are the most helpful. They validate the high bottom drinker like me and change our thinking! It's working for me. Thank you!! Jenny... Still sober!!
Book book book book! Would love to see you write a book. I'd buy it! All your blogger friends would. You have an inbuilt 'platform' as they say and that is key in convincing a publishing to cough up some money and a contract. There ARE a lot of personal stories out there but I've still personally only found a few I found really well written and useful. An angle is always good - like the role blogging played in your recovery. But, hey, no pressure. Maybe you need to embrace NOT having a goal for awhile. I mean, feck, getting sober AND completing a Masters thesis are both bloody huge. Maybe it's high time for some metaphorical roses sniffing?
ReplyDeleteDon't sweat or push it - the next thing will come to you in a flash of inspiration and enthusiasm when you're ready for it. Meanwhile, bake, workout, read, relax, enjoy. :)
Lilly x
Mrs D, I definitely think you should write a book. You have an undeniable gift with the written word and your personality is extremely inspiring and motivating. I found your blog 5 months ago today. I am 5 months sober...TODAY. And this blog has been a huge support to me in that effort. Your honesty and humor make me look forward to each new post. And I also look forward to reading each comment to your posts. So yes, please consider writing a book...I am certain you would touch at least one person's life and save them.
ReplyDeleteLetting go...yes, what a thing we need to do now in our sobriety. Not letting go, like holding my breath, was pointless and draining. Easier said than done, but it's something that brings serenity and the much needed idea that I am not in charge of the Universe, let alone what a few people might think...so why worry? So glad that you're seeing it that way...I am sure we've all had our share of waking up in the middle of the night wondering what kind of things we said or did while drunk...yikes.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I will join the chorus and say keep writing. Your personality sparkles through the screen...why not through the page? :)
Paul
i've got a book title for you!
ReplyDelete"Hello, Higher Power. It's me, Alcoholic"
lol
Be well, my friend!
i've got a book title for you!
ReplyDelete"Hello, Higher Power. It's me, Alcoholic."
lol
Be well, my friend!
The sober blogging community is... words fail to describe what a difference everyone makes to me, every day. I am beyond grateful for this- and beyond grateful for the grace to open up, ask for help, and receive the wise words of those who came before me and after me. There's so much to learn from each person.
ReplyDeleteHow about: "My Jilted Liver" or "I Used To Be Drunk, Now I'm Just High On Life!" (Total tongue in cheek there...) I've often thought we should compile a "best of" blog post book. Hmmmm.
I'm a "self-treater" too. I've been thinking of a group for that as well. Which is kind of an oxymoron, huh? "I'm in the Self-Treater Group!" ;)
I just found your blog a few days ago. I have also started one myself...just as a way to vent and document my journey through sobriety. I have also been a self treater.....reading blogs and joining recovery sites. The book by Christopher Kennedy Lawford sounds interesting. I have also thought about recovery face to face meetings. For now, I have found so much support from people like yourself. Thank u!
ReplyDeleteTried to file a comment here the other day but it didn't seem to register... "What, Me Sober?" already exists! http://whatmesober.com ... Chris Kennedy Lawford is coming to my city next week and I'm looking forward to meeting him. I read his books SYMPTOMS OF WITHDRAWAL and MOMENTS OF CLARITY when I first got sober in 2008 and though there are lots of folks who say he shouldn't have published "celebrity" stories, the ones by Steve Earle and Jamie Lee Curtis really helped me. It's great to know you, Mrs. D. cheers /G
ReplyDelete