Monday, March 25, 2013

Sober wedding # 7...

I think a sober event is going to stand on it's own merits, with no booze to buoy things (my brain) along. It's that peculiar convergence of factors - the location, the crowd, the vibe, my state of mind - that makes a sober event what it is.

I used to be very addicted to wine and consumed it regularly and heavily all the time. Weddings were always cause for heavier drinking. Stressful Mondays were cause for rapidly consumed glasses of red wine after 5pm. Low/flat/boring phases were filled with wine. Elated moments were accentuated with wine. Friday and Saturday nights were filled with more wine than usual just because they were Friday and Saturday night.

Wine, wine, wine, wine, wine, wine, all the time. And now there's none. I was nervous about this past wedding and the whole not-drinking thing. Not sure why, but I was. I was nervous, and I felt a bit low key throughout, but never once did I actually consider having any alcohol. I never for a moment entertained the notion that that could happen. Not drinking is an absolute certainty.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Isn't the cool when you just don't have the "thought"? That means the monkey is taking a nap.

    Congrats on another sober day.

  2. Wine,wine,wine! Sounds like me! I drank it like it was water! I am glad you made it thru the wedding even though you were not in the best of moods, imagine the alternative! If i was feeling the way you were and was drinking, I am sure the night would have gone completely crazy! Instead you are still sober! Awesome!

  3. Weddings, funerals, birthdays, anniversaries, waking up in the mornings...all are wonderful events that are worthy of a good alcohol guzzling session (used to be, anyway). I don't know, Mrs. D, it concerns me that you say you "were nervous" about the wedding. I wonder why you were nervous?

    I know that if I'm feeling any kind of trepidation toward attending an event, and it is centered around alcohol, I just choose not to go. But, That's me. Enjoyed your post, Mrs. D

    Hang tough! -coop

  4. hi Mrs. D - really enjoyed this, because it shows that not every day is a barn burner, nor is it the pits of despair. Some days are just "meh". And that's totally cool. I used to worry about those days - days where I wasn't anchored in one powerful or strong state of being...but just floating in a vague and beige day. I didn't know how to handle them. But I now know that there isn't much to be done, or to read into. If I had a whole string of them, then yes, I will dig deeper. But sometimes it's just a *day*. Nothing grand or funky about it.

    Another day...another *sober* day.

    Lovely stuff :)


  5. You'll laugh to know that I'm already worrying about my sister-in-laws' wedding in September. :)

    Hurrah for sober. :)

  6. I wish I knew when it happened, that blip in time when all of a sudden you quit thinking, "Ooohhh, I better avoid this occasion because it might make me drink." or "Man, it's going to be hard to get through this without a drink." So many people who are just starting this voyage into sobriety plead with us for that answer, they are so afraid, so were we, that our whole life was going to be an unquenchable thirst.

    It isn't. It goes away. The urge, the need, the want to drink. The bad times still come, the monotonous weddings are still there without salvation of a drink but we no longer sit through them thinking, I want a drink, I want a drink, I WANT A DRINK!

    We still yearn though, we yearn for that one other sober face in a drunken crowd, that one sincere and quiet conversation amid the nonsense and clamor.

  7. Low key but those special moments - on the couch with the couple, with your old friend chatting about deep stuff. Stuff to remember and reflect on. The "other" (i.e.drinking) version of that for me would have been high key but only the vaguest of memories and a ongoing worry about exactly how drunk I looked/acted to other people. Not a bad tradeoff me thinks! xxx