We've had some big spam attacks on Living Sober which has meant the site had to come down for a few hours a few times so the hosts/technical dudes could work on putting in more spam filters. They're awesome at doing a super-fast urgent fix, knowing that there are many of us who rely on that site for instant, lovely support with not drinking (1450+ members now!!!).. but it does lead to me having a bit of tech-angst.
Tech-angst = that peculiar frustrating and annoying stress that burns your brain and raises your shoulders and makes your teeth grind. Like when your broadband suddenly stops working and you have no real knowledge or understanding why, or when your phone suddenly isn't receiving emails or you can't login to your Twitter account or some such - it's a very modern day phenomenon this tech-angst.. not something you have any control over or understanding of, and it sucks! It feels urgent! But you can't do anything!
Quite a good exercise for me in breathing deeply and letting my shoulders drop and thinking calming thoughts like 'this is life' and 'these things can't be avoided' and 'what's really wrong here' and 'relax Mrs D'...
(Ha ha, this is really funny.. as I am typing this post Mr D is sitting at the kitchen table sighing deeply because his work server has cut him out because he didn't change his password in time or something, he's trying to figure it out so he can check his emails and can't! Tech-angst attack!! Breath Mr D… breath….oops he just walked away from the table saying 'bugger this'.)
I'm still processing some of the emotional shit that went down over Christmas, taking some days to think things through and find a way to sit happily with unsatisfactory situations (my beloved step-dad being gone the main one)… so I wouldn't say I'm in my most 'happy-joyous-free' mental state right now.
It's ok. I know that this is life, and I appreciate these gritty times because they make the carefree times so much more sweet.
I read a newspaper column this past weekend by a local writer/radio host - she's awesome and keeps things very real and honest - in which she wrote about not wanting to go back to her 20's because in that phase of her life she "hadn't yet learned that to enjoy the ups, you must know the pain of downs." I think this is very true and something us sober people need to learn. Appreciate all of life's experiences - good and bad - and don't think of them in isolation because they all blend into the whole, which is our entire experience of life.
If I hadn't been a hopeless boozer I wouldn't appreciate being a sober person so much now.
If I never experienced tech-angst I wouldn't appreciate smoothly-running websites and professional technical support!
Nice positive note to end on...
Love, Mrs D xxx