Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I need advice...

I love reading everyone else's sober blogs, all the little details about their lives, the minutiae really helps me when I'm in those small moments to feel not so alone in this new way of living.

Someone walking the isles at the supermarket confronted by the bottles of booze, someone's husband having friends over and craving a drink (but winning and not having one!), someone else busy taking photos at a birthday party to occupy themselves and not drink, someone else out a a big table at dinner having a diet coke and sitting next to a sober driver having a juice of some description.

I've got the busiest most social freaking two weeks coming up.  A massive party in my honour, 4 old girlfriends coming to stay for the weekend (haven't told them about my new lifestyle choice yet), step-brothers wedding.   Honestly you name it, it's about to happen.  I'm not worried about being tempted to drink, I am so happy with what I'm doing.  But not being able to use alcohol as a stress release, and having all your feelings so raw all the time, makes it harder work than normal.

I'd love any suggestions for great blogs anyone reads that I might not have heard about.  I don't think I'm that great at looking around for them (just try and look at other people's blog lists). And also tips for yummy non-alcoholic drinks.  Not just for these upcoming events, for day-to-day life.  I was trying energy drinks but they're pretty shitty and high in sodium.  I had an iced coffee this morning that was nice!  And I do like my lime and sodas.  With ice cubes.  Ice cubes make all the difference don't they.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. I don't know if I have a "great" blog but I do have a blog and since I was looking around and just found your blog looking for blogs maybe this is an example of synchronicity, which I wrote about earlier this week. I, too, have ended a 20+ year (actually more like 30) affair with booze but my favorite poison was bourbon. I look forward to reading more of your blog and seeing how your next two weeks go.

  2. Have you read these?

  3. In my first year sober, I made homemade gingerbeer, not very sweet, and also a drink with soda and fresh lime juice with a crushed stalk of lemongrass in it to infuse flavour. I made up teas with rosehip for sourness and green tea with a little cardamon. It was fun and assuaged the need I felt then for comforting drinks because I couldn't imagine going anywhere without a drink in my hand.

  4. Hi Mrs. D. I love your blog! I stayed up way too late last night reading the whole thing. We seem to have a lot in common. I too am a 40 year old mom of 2 boys, I am an American living in London. On my second round of sobriety after erroneously pronouncing myself cured after almost one year off the sauce. .not cured, and it's harder to stop the second time around. You might enjoy Ellie's blog One Crafty Mother (Ellie started Crying Out Now). I also like October O Nine and Seekingclarav (her older posts on getting sober) - the links are on C.O.N. You are an incredible writer and another much needed voice in the online sobriety community. Might also want to check out the Booze Free Brigade - a Yahoo support group. Some great ladies on there as well. Mostly Americans but a few Aussies. No Kiwis that I know of (yet!) For books I really liked "Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife" by Brenda Wilhelmson and "Drinking a Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. Hope that helps! Keep the writing coming, you have another follower. C.

  5. My advice?
    Keep going and evolving and be gentle on yourself and don't care what others think and being sober is the most important thing at this point in your life, oh, and hang on, it's a wild ride!

  6. I just made raspberry vinegar and strange as it sounds, in the link I'll post to recipe, Nigel Slater says it can go in drinks. Well I just went for a lovely meal by the seafront and had given my mum a bottle of raspberry vinegar which was on the table. I cautiously added some to my usual fizzy water and lime and it was delicious. Made it pink and gave it an extra dimension of flavour. You have to get rid of the idea of what vinegars supposed to go with. My mum loved it, we kept adding more to see how much was too much. And it was made with white wine vinegar, which feels like a win over wine :-D

  7. ...oops I forgot the link! Here is the vinegar link...

  8. If you read the second paragraph in ''history' in this link it's quite interesting I won't mind if you delete this comment after reading, I would have added to my previous comment but can't edit it :) It's fascinating people drank fruit vinegar and after today I'm really excited about it. And I just extensively read about vinegar and it definitely doesn't contain any alcohol and is safe for people recovering from problem drinking.
    Best wishes, Lucy

  9. ... Okay now I feel like I'm spamming please delete this when you've read it :-o I just had a thought that maybe the raspberries fermented slightly into fruit alcohol in the three days steeping and that the reason you wait two weeks to use vinegar after boiling is for it to become ascetic acid. I don't want to be trying to share my fun drink with people struggling like me and making it worse for them! So please this is a lovely drink but do your own research into whether there could be alcohol present as I've been unable as yet to find clear answers. And it's such an exciting drink I wanted to leave the idea here for others. Eek.. Okay that's my last comment haha

    1. Hi don't know if you're going to come back here to check (I don't normally reply to comments)… but wanted to say thanks! I am going to check this stuff out… lovely to hear from you and thanks for your kind thoughtful words xxx