Monday, October 31, 2011

Life is different...

So life is different without alcohol in it.  Not surprising given the amount of hours I devoted to wine (planning, acquiring, drinking, recovering) that are now wine-less hours.  But aside from the expected and happy results of living sober - less guilt, fewer headaches and sick guts, more money in the bank - there are other results that I hadn't expected.

So what are they?  I've been spending the last few days trying to put my finger on what is different and how it is that I feel different.  Well, there's one answer right there.  I'm definitely more introspective, looking inside my mind more to analyse how I'm feeling.  I've never been a huge naval gazer, but I am more so now.  As I said to my sister-in-law the other night, you feel more when you're not drinking.

Clearer?  I've heard other people say they feel so much clearer without alcohol and I think I understand what that means. But I'd also describe it as flat at times.  Or empty.  Just a wide open life without any mind bending.  All that time I've spent with my brain altered by alcohol, now it's just a big wide open brain that isn't inebriated.  Sometimes that's a good thing.  Other times not so good.  Last few days I've been tired and grouchy and feeling a bit low.  A week or so ago I was feeling awesome and talking about pink clouds.  So more highs and lows.  Yeah.  More highs and lows.

I just asked Mr D what is different about me now I"m not drinking and he said "dunno" so it can't be that much different on the outside.  Just inside my head it is. 

There's more to ponder here...

Love, Mrs D xxx

1 comment:

  1. One of the challenges is to re allocate that time into something productive and fulfilling.
    I have flat and empty periods and almost mourn the alcohol less future.
    Try buying some new walking shoes and start walking around the neighbourhood. Works for me. Every time in the afternoon I feel I could/should/used to be drinking, I walk to the beach and that certainly clears my head.