I am surfing around the Internet looking for a recipe for a spicy halloween mocktail that I can make to share on the 'Drink of the Week' page at Living Sober and on my Facebook page. I've found something suitable for the spooky holiday but also perfect for early morning rugby watching. I will make it today to sample, photograph it and post online .. and then I will make it again at the crack of dawn on Sunday.
Because YES! New Zealand are in the Rugby World Cup final, our mighty All Blacks play Australia at 5am on Sunday morning (the tournament is being held on the other side of the world in England).
I am happy looking for the recipe, thinking about how I will adapt the ingredients to suit my tastes... planning on heading down to the supermarket shortly to get the ingredients.
I am nervous thinking about the game. I so hope we win because everyone in our lovely little country will be super-happy and excited if we do! And we love our team of brave rugby-playing men, they are super cool and incredibly talented and (if you don't mind me saying) they look totally hot in their foxy outfits!
I am comfortable knowing that I will be tired but not hungover in the wee small hours on Sunday morning as I drag myself out of bed to snuggle on the sofa and watch the game with the family.
I am very content with my sober life.
When I first got sober it was so hard to conceive of an alcohol-free life. 'When will it become normal?' I'd wonder. 'Will it ever become normal??!!' When will the obsession stop?' 'When will I stop thinking about not-drinking all the time?'
It took some time but eventually it did happen. The obsession stopped and I settled into my sober skin. Today I hardly evert think about the fact that I don't drink.
Ok - I write about my sobriety all the time because I have a blog and I run a community website dedicated to helping other people get sober! That is a fact. But outside of my writing time and mostly in my day-to-day life I do not think about the fact that I am sober.
I just 'am' sober.
It's ordinary.
It's not a big deal.
I don't crave booze. I don't wish I could drink. I just don't drink alcohol.
Far fucking out. Go back to my early posts - the ones in the really early days. How obsessed I was back then. And fast forward to now. Spicy mocktails, supermarket shopping, rugby games.. no hankering to drink. None.
That, my friends, is a good thing.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Friday, October 30, 2015
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Numbers
I turned 44 last Tuesday and on Thursday I celebrated my 1500th day of sobriety.
What wonderful numbers ... what a week. I have to be honest I was more excited about the soberversary than the birthday (although the birthday was lovely and my family made me feel very special all day). Deep down inside though the 1500 days felt incredibly more pride-inducing.
I worked hard for those 1500 days.
I am very happy with the direction the second half of my life is taking. I am happy that I'm working hard to turn inwards and become a fully realised human being. I am happy that I am learning how to properly deal with my complicated and tricky human brain so that I am starting to glimpse true inner calm. (Glimpse - notice I am saying glimpse! Still a way to go.. and if you read my last post I did jinx myself slightly and have been a wee bit piggy and 'treaty' this past week! Oh well... progress not perfection!)
I'm also very happy with the first part of my life. I don't regret all the boozing, I don't regret the years I spent avoiding tough emotions, the years I spent desperately trying to act like everything was 'fine' all the time. I look back at my boozy self with affection. I was trying the only way I knew how to make the world seem ok, to make everything fun and lovely all the time.
Only problem was, my method (regular alcohol consumption) was flawed. A quick fix - yes. But a long term stragegy? Nope.
Just a readily available liquid drug that mimicks true feelings of well-being while it is in your system. A readily available liquid drug that is addictive and progressive. A readily available liquid drug that when imbibed in heavy doses makes you feel like shit physically and shit emotionally.
Glad I've left that liquid drug behind.
I'm 44 years old and 1503 days sober.
That looks pretty good to me.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Turning a corner finally..?
I don't want to jinx myself but I'm wondering whether maybe finally I have turned a wee corner with regards my food 'treats' and 'rewards' (which were actually crappy punishments). Mr D has been away for two whole weeks and it's the school holidays - usually this would send me into a spiral of boozing (prior to four years ago) or sugar/fat (last four years).. as I got tireder as the days went on I would fall farther into the hole of destructive behaviour which would have me feeling totally BLAH by the end of it.
But this time - one day to go! - I have made a real effort and have resisted falling into that hole. I've been having the odd bit of sugar, buttered toast or chips 'n dip but nothing crazy. And I'm feeling good! Tired but good.
The significant thing is that my inner voice.. my thought processes.. have changed. I haven't had to white knuckle/resist the crap .. my thoughts lately have been "that isn't yum, it will make me feel yukky" or "don't believe that's a treat, it's just a hunk of shit". This is a big difference from the "Mmmmm that is a big delicious treat that I deserve" that I used to always think. BIG DIFFERENCE.
It hasn't been hard. That's the significant shift. It's like I'm finally re-wiring myself to see those foods not as treats to be savoured but actually nasty crap that isn't my friend or good for me.
Maybe finally all the reading I've been doing about sugar and all the docos I've been watching on Netflix (Fed Up is really good) are finally getting inside my brain.
Like I say, I don't want to jinx myself.. but I can feel a subtle shift inside of me. Like I am evolving in this area. At long last!!!!!!!! There has been a subtle but noticeable shift.
I'll stay on top of this and will keep being honest. If I fall back into a hole of acting 'alcoholically' with my sugary/fatty foods and start up the same dysfunctional and isolating behaviours around them.. then I will fess up.
But for now I am proud of myself.
The free online Mindfulness Summit that I am partaking of and LOVING (and blogging about daily here) has also helped I'm sure.
Jeepers sometimes I can't believe who I am turning into!!!!!!!!!!! But I don't care because it just makes me feel so good. Calm and connected and good. Loving my new sober life. Love, love, loving it. So, so, so, so pleased that I got sober. Can't say that enough. So, so, so, so pleased that I took that shit booze away.
Love, Mrs D xxx
But this time - one day to go! - I have made a real effort and have resisted falling into that hole. I've been having the odd bit of sugar, buttered toast or chips 'n dip but nothing crazy. And I'm feeling good! Tired but good.
The significant thing is that my inner voice.. my thought processes.. have changed. I haven't had to white knuckle/resist the crap .. my thoughts lately have been "that isn't yum, it will make me feel yukky" or "don't believe that's a treat, it's just a hunk of shit". This is a big difference from the "Mmmmm that is a big delicious treat that I deserve" that I used to always think. BIG DIFFERENCE.
It hasn't been hard. That's the significant shift. It's like I'm finally re-wiring myself to see those foods not as treats to be savoured but actually nasty crap that isn't my friend or good for me.
Maybe finally all the reading I've been doing about sugar and all the docos I've been watching on Netflix (Fed Up is really good) are finally getting inside my brain.
Like I say, I don't want to jinx myself.. but I can feel a subtle shift inside of me. Like I am evolving in this area. At long last!!!!!!!! There has been a subtle but noticeable shift.
I'll stay on top of this and will keep being honest. If I fall back into a hole of acting 'alcoholically' with my sugary/fatty foods and start up the same dysfunctional and isolating behaviours around them.. then I will fess up.
But for now I am proud of myself.
The free online Mindfulness Summit that I am partaking of and LOVING (and blogging about daily here) has also helped I'm sure.
Jeepers sometimes I can't believe who I am turning into!!!!!!!!!!! But I don't care because it just makes me feel so good. Calm and connected and good. Loving my new sober life. Love, love, loving it. So, so, so, so pleased that I got sober. Can't say that enough. So, so, so, so pleased that I took that shit booze away.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Sunday, October 4, 2015
With my tribe...
What an utterly amazing afternoon I had yesterday meeting up with a bunch of members of our amazing community website - Living Sober.
A number of the members from around New Zealand (and one from Australia!) had organised themselves to travel to central NZ where I live to hook up for the weekend. They organised their own flights and car rides... booked into the same motel where possible (some even sharing rooms!) and partook of a series of meals and get-togethers in cafes and restaurants.
I met up with them for a late lunch yesterday at a pub in town. They'd organised a private area and we came together for 3 hours.
I shared many warm hugs.
I shed many tears.
I heard many tales.
I listened to singing, poetry and prose.
I spoke briefly and answered many questions.
I had numerous moments when I paused mentally, looked around and really took stock of what was happening. Here I was sitting in a room full of people - most of whom I had never met in person before - and I felt incredibly comfortable and in the right place.
I felt like I was with my tribe.
The truth is my whole life I have been fiercely independent. I’ve never been what you could call a ‘joiner’. I didn’t play sports so I wasn’t in any teams. I never managed to stick at any music groups or anything like that. I didn’t do that many organised extra activities. I didn’t feel like I fitted in at high school... I always used to joke that I had ‘job commitment phobia’ because I would chop and change my jobs so often...and mentally I've always kept myself on the outer. I always felt like I was ‘pretending’ to be one of the gang – whether it be the 'cool kids' gang at school or the TV journalists gang at work or whatever.
A number of the members from around New Zealand (and one from Australia!) had organised themselves to travel to central NZ where I live to hook up for the weekend. They organised their own flights and car rides... booked into the same motel where possible (some even sharing rooms!) and partook of a series of meals and get-togethers in cafes and restaurants.
I met up with them for a late lunch yesterday at a pub in town. They'd organised a private area and we came together for 3 hours.
I shared many warm hugs.
I shed many tears.
I heard many tales.
I listened to singing, poetry and prose.
I spoke briefly and answered many questions.
I had numerous moments when I paused mentally, looked around and really took stock of what was happening. Here I was sitting in a room full of people - most of whom I had never met in person before - and I felt incredibly comfortable and in the right place.
I felt like I was with my tribe.
The truth is my whole life I have been fiercely independent. I’ve never been what you could call a ‘joiner’. I didn’t play sports so I wasn’t in any teams. I never managed to stick at any music groups or anything like that. I didn’t do that many organised extra activities. I didn’t feel like I fitted in at high school... I always used to joke that I had ‘job commitment phobia’ because I would chop and change my jobs so often...and mentally I've always kept myself on the outer. I always felt like I was ‘pretending’ to be one of the gang – whether it be the 'cool kids' gang at school or the TV journalists gang at work or whatever.
I've always felt in a bit of a bubble. Booze helped me maintain the bubble I think. It put a wall up
between me and everything else. It helped me to not care - a self protection
mechanism. If I don’t care about this group or this job or this whatever
then if it goes it can’t hurt me.
I was always trying to stay one step ahead of things going.
Maybe this is why when I set about getting sober I embarked
on it as a purely solo mission. Me in my bubble fixing myself. I don’t need
anyone else. Fiercely independent me.
Little did I know that getting sober would finally lead to me finding my place. The group I belong to that I don't have to pretend that I feel a part of. My tribe.
To be sitting in that room yesterday felt incredible. I felt at home. Really at home.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Finally I can be still....
I just wrote a post on my other blog - Mrs D Is Going Within - which summarises where I am at right now.
I know it seems a bit weird to have two blogs on the go but this original blog was started to help me get sober (which it certainly did!) and I keep it up to stay on top of my recovery and keep communicating with people who are also trying to get sober.
The new blog I started for the same specific purpose.. to use it as a motivation tool with something I am attempting to do. In this case it is my attempt to develop a mindfulness/meditation practice. In other words, to really 'go within' now that the hard work of removing alcohol from my life is done.
The new blog really helps keep me motivated to keep researching / investigating / attempting mindfulness & meditation, and although my work in this area has been very stop-start it is slowly bedding in. I love it. I love, love, love it. It is unbelievably affective. Trust me on this. All the hype is true. It is amazingly helpful.
Lately I've been feeling really good and strong in my sobriety. Very much of the attitude - 'what am I actually missing out on?' by not drinking alcohol. That was one of the most overwhelming feelings when I first stopped drinking.. that I would be missing out. But for Pete's sake.. what am I missing out on?
I can socialise. I can have fun. I can go to concerts and be really moved by the music. I can have lunch with my girlfriends and connect with that fabulous female energy that fuels every girls soul. I can communicate, care for and co-exist with my husband and sons authentically and brilliantly. I can attend dinner parties and go to restaurants enjoying every morsel of food and banter. I can spend time with myself and not go crazy.
I can be still. Finally. I can be still.
Gosh I just typed that and got teary. This is obviously a major major thing for me. Stillness.
I suppose boozing is the polar opposite to stillness isn't it? Maybe this is what I've been avoiding for my entire adult life. It's taken me four years of sobriety to get to this place where stillness is becoming the most important and restorative factor in my life.
Stillness. Finally, I can be still.
Love, Mrs D xxx
I know it seems a bit weird to have two blogs on the go but this original blog was started to help me get sober (which it certainly did!) and I keep it up to stay on top of my recovery and keep communicating with people who are also trying to get sober.
The new blog I started for the same specific purpose.. to use it as a motivation tool with something I am attempting to do. In this case it is my attempt to develop a mindfulness/meditation practice. In other words, to really 'go within' now that the hard work of removing alcohol from my life is done.
The new blog really helps keep me motivated to keep researching / investigating / attempting mindfulness & meditation, and although my work in this area has been very stop-start it is slowly bedding in. I love it. I love, love, love it. It is unbelievably affective. Trust me on this. All the hype is true. It is amazingly helpful.
Lately I've been feeling really good and strong in my sobriety. Very much of the attitude - 'what am I actually missing out on?' by not drinking alcohol. That was one of the most overwhelming feelings when I first stopped drinking.. that I would be missing out. But for Pete's sake.. what am I missing out on?
I can socialise. I can have fun. I can go to concerts and be really moved by the music. I can have lunch with my girlfriends and connect with that fabulous female energy that fuels every girls soul. I can communicate, care for and co-exist with my husband and sons authentically and brilliantly. I can attend dinner parties and go to restaurants enjoying every morsel of food and banter. I can spend time with myself and not go crazy.
I can be still. Finally. I can be still.
Gosh I just typed that and got teary. This is obviously a major major thing for me. Stillness.
I suppose boozing is the polar opposite to stillness isn't it? Maybe this is what I've been avoiding for my entire adult life. It's taken me four years of sobriety to get to this place where stillness is becoming the most important and restorative factor in my life.
Stillness. Finally, I can be still.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Monday, September 21, 2015
Not so tired any more..
And the award for the most boring post title in blogging history goes to Mrs D!!!!!!!
Not so tired any more. Yawn. The post title itself is enough to make someone tired and bored.
Actually truth be known my life is very boring. Or if not boring then extremely ordinary.
I get up when the dog barks and put him outside. I shower. I fix my kids breakfast and pack their lunch boxes. I feed the dog. I negotiate between my sons and the dog not to all wind each other up too much and try to stop them breaking things/making a huge mess (all the while trying to be mindful that they are young boys/puppies and breaking things and making a mess is in their DNA). I put washing on. I badger my sons to make their beds & brush their teeth & pack their bags.
I get the boys off to school and then I spend the day until 3pm writing blog posts/interacting with brave and amazing sober people on Living Sober or via email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc/grocery shopping/meeting friends/walking the puppy/going to work meetings/doing household chores/paying bills & doing banking//filling in forms and replying to emails for kid things like cubs & swimming lessons & drama lessons & school trips & rugby games etc/lying on the sofa watching daytime TV/cooking & baking/folding washing...etc etc...
Then at 3pm I get the kids from school/bring them home/feed them/do homework/badger my boys to empty the dishwasher & wash their lunchboxes/play games/drive to rugby practice & swimming lessons & cubs & drama & soccer etc/cook dinner/tidy up from dinner/do more interacting online with brave and amazing sober people/write blog posts/tidy up/get the kids to bed/watch TV/go to bed.
(Obviously the weekends are a bit different but you get the gist).
Things I wish I did more of:
Plucking my eyebrows
Painting my nails
Meditating
Reading novels
Drinking and eating perfectly healthy whole foods
Exercise
Things I wish I did less of:
Eating sugary/fatty foods
Checking my online sites
Worrying about the things that I should be doing more of...
The good news is I am feeling a bit better on the tiredness front, am trying to work my mindfulness techniques to keep myself in the moment and feeling calm. And today I had my hair done for the first time in months and it is short!
And because this is a sobriety blog I should end by saying I AM SOBER AND FOR THAT REASON I AM BRAVE AND AMAZING AND ANY PERSON THAT KICKS A DYSFUNCTIONAL DRINKING HABIT TO THE CURB IS SPECTACULAR AND DESERVES A MEDAL!
Love, Mrs D xxx
Not so tired any more. Yawn. The post title itself is enough to make someone tired and bored.
Actually truth be known my life is very boring. Or if not boring then extremely ordinary.
I get up when the dog barks and put him outside. I shower. I fix my kids breakfast and pack their lunch boxes. I feed the dog. I negotiate between my sons and the dog not to all wind each other up too much and try to stop them breaking things/making a huge mess (all the while trying to be mindful that they are young boys/puppies and breaking things and making a mess is in their DNA). I put washing on. I badger my sons to make their beds & brush their teeth & pack their bags.
I get the boys off to school and then I spend the day until 3pm writing blog posts/interacting with brave and amazing sober people on Living Sober or via email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc/grocery shopping/meeting friends/walking the puppy/going to work meetings/doing household chores/paying bills & doing banking//filling in forms and replying to emails for kid things like cubs & swimming lessons & drama lessons & school trips & rugby games etc/lying on the sofa watching daytime TV/cooking & baking/folding washing...etc etc...
Then at 3pm I get the kids from school/bring them home/feed them/do homework/badger my boys to empty the dishwasher & wash their lunchboxes/play games/drive to rugby practice & swimming lessons & cubs & drama & soccer etc/cook dinner/tidy up from dinner/do more interacting online with brave and amazing sober people/write blog posts/tidy up/get the kids to bed/watch TV/go to bed.
(Obviously the weekends are a bit different but you get the gist).
Things I wish I did more of:
Plucking my eyebrows
Painting my nails
Meditating
Reading novels
Drinking and eating perfectly healthy whole foods
Exercise
Things I wish I did less of:
Eating sugary/fatty foods
Checking my online sites
Worrying about the things that I should be doing more of...
The good news is I am feeling a bit better on the tiredness front, am trying to work my mindfulness techniques to keep myself in the moment and feeling calm. And today I had my hair done for the first time in months and it is short!
And because this is a sobriety blog I should end by saying I AM SOBER AND FOR THAT REASON I AM BRAVE AND AMAZING AND ANY PERSON THAT KICKS A DYSFUNCTIONAL DRINKING HABIT TO THE CURB IS SPECTACULAR AND DESERVES A MEDAL!
Love, Mrs D xxx
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Tired...
I'm just really farking knackered, it seems every morning I wake up and I am tired ... and I drag my tired sorry arse through the day. My eyes are stinging they feel so tired and sore. And my patience is slim at best.
Is my iron low? Is it because the puppy wakes me up bloody early every morning? Is it because I'm not getting enough sleep? (I average 7 solid hours sleep per night give or take). Is it because I run a busy household? Is it because parenting three active boys aged 11, 9 & 5 is full on? Is it because I have a steady flow of writing and other work to do? Is it because my diet is less than stellar at the moment? Do bad food choices make you feel run down? (I know the answer to that).
Is it a combination of all of the above?
Probably.
I'm pretty sick of it to be honest. But I keep trying to turn my thoughts in a positive direction and slide gracefully through the days without getting too grumpy or self-pitying. Because really I have nothing to worry about.
And EVERYONE, I mean EVERYONE seems to feel tired all the time nowadays.
But the knowledge that everyone feels tired a lot of the time doesn't diminish my personal experience of tiredness. I can still feel it behind my eyes.
It's just so booooooooring going on about tiredness.
I want to feel fresh! And energetic! And sparkly! And not tired!
So I will....
1) try and make good, healthy, perfect food choices like all the perfectly perfect eaters of the world seem to do (they do exist these perfectly perfect eaters don't they?)
2) rest where possible but also....
3) increase my physical activity
4) feel grateful for my very nice life
5) go to bed earlier
6) buy a women's multi-vitamin that includes iron
7) keep feeling very incredible good about the fact that 1470 days ago I stopped drinking alcohol and I am very cool and brave and amazing for having done that and my life has improved in immeasurable ways as a result
Love making a plan - I feel better already! In a low-key tired out way that is ....
Love, Mrs D xxx
Is my iron low? Is it because the puppy wakes me up bloody early every morning? Is it because I'm not getting enough sleep? (I average 7 solid hours sleep per night give or take). Is it because I run a busy household? Is it because parenting three active boys aged 11, 9 & 5 is full on? Is it because I have a steady flow of writing and other work to do? Is it because my diet is less than stellar at the moment? Do bad food choices make you feel run down? (I know the answer to that).
Is it a combination of all of the above?
Probably.
I'm pretty sick of it to be honest. But I keep trying to turn my thoughts in a positive direction and slide gracefully through the days without getting too grumpy or self-pitying. Because really I have nothing to worry about.
And EVERYONE, I mean EVERYONE seems to feel tired all the time nowadays.
But the knowledge that everyone feels tired a lot of the time doesn't diminish my personal experience of tiredness. I can still feel it behind my eyes.
It's just so booooooooring going on about tiredness.
I want to feel fresh! And energetic! And sparkly! And not tired!
So I will....
1) try and make good, healthy, perfect food choices like all the perfectly perfect eaters of the world seem to do (they do exist these perfectly perfect eaters don't they?)
2) rest where possible but also....
3) increase my physical activity
4) feel grateful for my very nice life
5) go to bed earlier
6) buy a women's multi-vitamin that includes iron
7) keep feeling very incredible good about the fact that 1470 days ago I stopped drinking alcohol and I am very cool and brave and amazing for having done that and my life has improved in immeasurable ways as a result
Love making a plan - I feel better already! In a low-key tired out way that is ....
Love, Mrs D xxx
Monday, September 7, 2015
Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
Back from the addictions conference. I LOVED it!! My first ever conference and I was totally into the whole name badge/presentations/endless yummy food/stimulating people vibe. The addiction sector in NZ is full of lovely warm, kind & hardworking people and I chatted happily with many of them. Also sat in on loads of interesting talks, cried, sang, danced, and ate. Did I mention the endless yummy food?!
I gave my talk on the last afternoon and think it went well. Hard to know - feedback was good ... although no-one is going to come up to me afterwards and say "that was shit" are they? But I felt good and calm in my brain and happy to be telling my story and informing these lovely practitioners about our amazing website.
The local paper did a story on my presentation which has just been published online here. Wish I'd brushed my hair for the photo!
Flew home after 3 full on days and was so happy to get back to my domesticated reality. Yesterday was Fathers Day AND my four year soberversary! The boys bought us breakfast in bed which was cute and then we spent a nice family day together.
Today we are back into a normal week with school, work, dog walking, supermarket shopping, cooking, playing games, washing clothes, etc etc yadda yadda. Normal yet so fundamentally glorious.
I do not drink.
I don't waste any more time worrying about my drinking.
I don't wake up at 3am any more beating myself up for having over indulged the night before.
I am no longer a stranger to my emotions. I hate sadness but know that it heals. I'm uncomfortable with anger but know that it is a normal human reaction. I loath stress but now have far more effective ways to minimise it.
One of the speakers put up a slide last week which said 'Life is pain, but not accepting that pain is suffering'. Put that another way - pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
Thank goodness I started figuring this out four years ago.
Love, Mrs D xxx
I gave my talk on the last afternoon and think it went well. Hard to know - feedback was good ... although no-one is going to come up to me afterwards and say "that was shit" are they? But I felt good and calm in my brain and happy to be telling my story and informing these lovely practitioners about our amazing website.
The local paper did a story on my presentation which has just been published online here. Wish I'd brushed my hair for the photo!
Flew home after 3 full on days and was so happy to get back to my domesticated reality. Yesterday was Fathers Day AND my four year soberversary! The boys bought us breakfast in bed which was cute and then we spent a nice family day together.
Today we are back into a normal week with school, work, dog walking, supermarket shopping, cooking, playing games, washing clothes, etc etc yadda yadda. Normal yet so fundamentally glorious.
I do not drink.
I don't waste any more time worrying about my drinking.
I don't wake up at 3am any more beating myself up for having over indulged the night before.
I am no longer a stranger to my emotions. I hate sadness but know that it heals. I'm uncomfortable with anger but know that it is a normal human reaction. I loath stress but now have far more effective ways to minimise it.
One of the speakers put up a slide last week which said 'Life is pain, but not accepting that pain is suffering'. Put that another way - pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
Thank goodness I started figuring this out four years ago.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Reasons why I love being sober....
Because it is the ultimate challenge: For so many years I was up for the challenge of booze. I loved how it shifted my reality and made everything gnarly and heightened. Now I am totally up for the challenge of sobriety.This is the ultimate challenge! Living life in the raw. Learning how to deal with shit always with a wide-open brain. Never escaping. Never blurring the lines. Always sharp edged and real. It doesn't get any more fundamental and major than this. Bring it on.
Because it feels incredibly rebellious: My world is booze soaked. Every event involves alcohol. Every supermarket sells it right next to the bread and milk. Every billboard and glossy advertisement tells me that alcohol makes life better, and that drinking it regularly is a normal and totally acceptable thing to do. By choosing to live sober I am rebelling against everything my society is telling me. I am saying NO and BULLSHIT! to all the false messages that are being thrown at me. I am happily living a fun, full, and rewarding life with no alcohol in it thankyouverymuch so stick that up your arse alcohol industry!!
Because I have woken up as a human being: Thank goodness I developed a problem with booze and had to take it away because without my addiction I might never have realised that I was an emotion avoider with no emotional coping mechanisms who was fooling herself every time she drank (which was practically every day for years and years and years). I finally feel like I am becoming a fully realised human being, living life as it was intended. I love where my sobriety is taking me and how I am busy discovering new and powerful ways to cope with life. It's fascinating and so incredibly rewarding.
Because I have joined the cool club: When you meet someone else who is in recovery from addiction you immediately go to a deep level of understanding and honesty. I'm not being dumb here, it's just true that you start talking straight away about 'real' stuff with another recovery warrior. All the cool people are sober nowadays! I love my sober buddies!
Because I get to buy fresh flowers every week for the rest of my life and never feel guilty about it: Enough said.
Because I sleep fantastically 99.9% of the time: Also not much more to say about this one except that waking up after a deep and beautiful sleep NEVER gets old!
Because I'm just so proud of myself that I turned my life around: Even when I'm stressed or grumpy I feel so happy to be sober. I will never ever ever ever go backwards and put that shit booze back into my life.
The end.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Because it feels incredibly rebellious: My world is booze soaked. Every event involves alcohol. Every supermarket sells it right next to the bread and milk. Every billboard and glossy advertisement tells me that alcohol makes life better, and that drinking it regularly is a normal and totally acceptable thing to do. By choosing to live sober I am rebelling against everything my society is telling me. I am saying NO and BULLSHIT! to all the false messages that are being thrown at me. I am happily living a fun, full, and rewarding life with no alcohol in it thankyouverymuch so stick that up your arse alcohol industry!!
Because I have woken up as a human being: Thank goodness I developed a problem with booze and had to take it away because without my addiction I might never have realised that I was an emotion avoider with no emotional coping mechanisms who was fooling herself every time she drank (which was practically every day for years and years and years). I finally feel like I am becoming a fully realised human being, living life as it was intended. I love where my sobriety is taking me and how I am busy discovering new and powerful ways to cope with life. It's fascinating and so incredibly rewarding.
Because I have joined the cool club: When you meet someone else who is in recovery from addiction you immediately go to a deep level of understanding and honesty. I'm not being dumb here, it's just true that you start talking straight away about 'real' stuff with another recovery warrior. All the cool people are sober nowadays! I love my sober buddies!
Because I get to buy fresh flowers every week for the rest of my life and never feel guilty about it: Enough said.
Because I sleep fantastically 99.9% of the time: Also not much more to say about this one except that waking up after a deep and beautiful sleep NEVER gets old!
Because I'm just so proud of myself that I turned my life around: Even when I'm stressed or grumpy I feel so happy to be sober. I will never ever ever ever go backwards and put that shit booze back into my life.
The end.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Thursday, August 27, 2015
A looming conference...
I'm working on my presentation for NZ's big addiction conference next week. Called Cutting Edge it's the annual gathering of the addictions treatment sector - loads of great talks & sessions for me to attend and listen to, as well as the opportunity to meet lots of lovely people who are working hard to help addicts in this country. I can't wait!
I'm presenting on the last day about our website Living Sober ... which is going great guns by the way. We are almost at 2500 registered members and just this week reached 1 million page views which, given we've only been live for one year, is AWESOME!!.
I am so proud of our little site. It is based on a very simple concept - put people who share a common trait (an inability to control the drug of alcohol) in a shared space which feels safe and protected and let them talk to each other and help each other along. Our ethos is kind, supportive and non-judgemental communication and that is what we do! There is never any snippiness or grumpiness displayed between members. Amazing! People are in there sharing about the REAL SHIT of life (tricky in laws, depression, anxiety, abuse, addiction, loneliness, low self-esteem etc etc) and yet the tone is always kept positive, forward looking and upbeat. Truly amazing.
I'm telling you - it is an incredibly powerful and transformative online space and if you are searching around the internet looking for support and inspiration to not drink you should TOTALLY go join the community there. It's free and you can be anonymous! There's a lot of great information on my blog page there and in the Sober Toolbox etc, but only by joining do you get inside the 'Members Feed' which is our rolling communication space where much of the gritty & lovely interactions go on.
Ok sales pitch over.
Attending the conference will be interesting as I know these events can pose a challenge to sober people (especially the newly sober) - all that socialising and booze. Not to mention the hotel rooms having fully stocked mini-bars. I don't know if alcohol will be available at the conference dinners etc. There are a lot of people in recovery working in the sector apparently.. but presumably there are many who are not. Anyway - for me I don't fear being tempted. I just look at that stuff as dumb bottles of poison wrapped up in fancy labels that will do nothing to enhance my life whatsoever. Far from it.
So happy to be sober. So grateful to be a part of this wonderful online recovery community. Grateful that the sun is shining. Grateful that I have a puppy who needs walking every day and for the first time I can see that daily walks will become a good positive feature of my life. Grateful that I have my health and my family. Grateful that I have stimulating work to do in a field I am passionate about.
Who knew this would turn into a gratitude post! Not me! Sometimes I just never know where these things will go....
Love, Mrs D xxx
I'm presenting on the last day about our website Living Sober ... which is going great guns by the way. We are almost at 2500 registered members and just this week reached 1 million page views which, given we've only been live for one year, is AWESOME!!.
I am so proud of our little site. It is based on a very simple concept - put people who share a common trait (an inability to control the drug of alcohol) in a shared space which feels safe and protected and let them talk to each other and help each other along. Our ethos is kind, supportive and non-judgemental communication and that is what we do! There is never any snippiness or grumpiness displayed between members. Amazing! People are in there sharing about the REAL SHIT of life (tricky in laws, depression, anxiety, abuse, addiction, loneliness, low self-esteem etc etc) and yet the tone is always kept positive, forward looking and upbeat. Truly amazing.
I'm telling you - it is an incredibly powerful and transformative online space and if you are searching around the internet looking for support and inspiration to not drink you should TOTALLY go join the community there. It's free and you can be anonymous! There's a lot of great information on my blog page there and in the Sober Toolbox etc, but only by joining do you get inside the 'Members Feed' which is our rolling communication space where much of the gritty & lovely interactions go on.
Ok sales pitch over.
Attending the conference will be interesting as I know these events can pose a challenge to sober people (especially the newly sober) - all that socialising and booze. Not to mention the hotel rooms having fully stocked mini-bars. I don't know if alcohol will be available at the conference dinners etc. There are a lot of people in recovery working in the sector apparently.. but presumably there are many who are not. Anyway - for me I don't fear being tempted. I just look at that stuff as dumb bottles of poison wrapped up in fancy labels that will do nothing to enhance my life whatsoever. Far from it.
So happy to be sober. So grateful to be a part of this wonderful online recovery community. Grateful that the sun is shining. Grateful that I have a puppy who needs walking every day and for the first time I can see that daily walks will become a good positive feature of my life. Grateful that I have my health and my family. Grateful that I have stimulating work to do in a field I am passionate about.
Who knew this would turn into a gratitude post! Not me! Sometimes I just never know where these things will go....
Love, Mrs D xxx
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