Yelling from the mountain top

Someone emailed me to ask how the hell did I just decide to stop and then stop?  It does sound so easy when put like that.  And while it hasn't been easy to learn to live without wine smoothing the way .. it actually has been easy for me to not touch the stuff.  I have poured wine for others, sniffed it, had the smell wafting across the table on numerous occasions, bought it, encouraged others to drink it in front of me, and never once since the first few weeks of cravings have I actually thought to pick it up and swallow.  How come?

I do feel really lucky that I feel like this.  But I do think that all the re-training of my brain that I did early on really really helped.  Reading books like Jason Vale's 'Kick the Drink, Easy!' really helped me see wine not as my friend but as the enemy.

Not the enemy so much as that person that you thought was really good for you and then you slowly realise that they're actually a really negative influence and a liability and that you're better off slowly retreating from that person and avoiding hanging out with them.

Like that really un-cool person that you just wish would stop hanging around trying to be your friend when you just find they get in the way and make dumb comments.

I can happily fill the glass of wine and hand it to a friend because I just don't want that stuff in my body twisting my brain and sending it back into an obsessed place which I am tricked into thinking is fun when it's totally not.  I don't want that shit getting in my way, turning me back into that loser (in my own eyes that's what I was) who believes nothing is fun if you're not drinking. 

I actually hate the alcohol industry now for all the brain washing it does to make you think nothing is fun or social without booze.  It's simply not true.  This country is awash (pun intended!) with news items at the moment about our awful drinking culture and the toll it takes on our emergency, medical, social and other services.  But all the chatter is from politicians, medical professionals, the 'experts' etc etc.. but where are the ordinary people standing up saying 'this has got to stop!"

I feel like standing on the top of the mountain yelling for all to hear 'TAKE THE BOOZE AWAY I PROMISE YOU LIFE IS JUST AS FUN!!!'  I'd probably have to add 'AND YOU'LL GAIN BACK LOADS OF TIME YOU DIDN'T EVEN REALISE YOU WERE WASTING' and then follow up with 'OK SO YOU MIGHT BE MORE EMOTIONAL BUT EVEN THAT FEELS RIGHT IN THE BIG PICTURE'.  By now I'd probably have a sore throat from all that yelling but I'd just have to add 'IT IS TOTALLY POSSIBLE TO LIVE WITHOUT ALCOHOL - REALLY IT IS!!!!'.

All the lucky normal drinkers wouldn't need to really respond.  But how I wish all the hundreds of other dysfunctional boozers like me would give sobriety a go.  How much happier would so many of them (and their families) be? 

Righto, time for a cup of tea after all that yelling. Bye!

Love, Mrs D xxx