I seem to be going through a bit of a low phase after my extreme 'oh wow I'm so wonderful what a fabulous strong sober person I am' phase .. now I'm kind of feeling like actually I'm that boring loser that thinks they're really cool but actually is kind of self obsessed and boring and a kill joy.
Just because I'm hearing stories from girlfriends about fun Friday night wine sessions - pizzas! laughing! dancing with the kids! getting a bit lippy! - and have just received an invitation to a big going away party (the bloke who is leaving says to Mr D 'tell Mrs D to get a babysitter and come along! be great to have her there!'). Yeah. I could do that ... but it's at my old workplace, a high stress, high performance, high-wired, highly fun, boozy environment and as much as I'd really like to go along and prove that I am still that person it will be a party all about getting hammered and I'd feel a bit sheepish and nervous that it'll be the new sober me showing up not the old fun party girl.
Woe is me. Harden up. Ups and Downs. Ups and Downs. Life. Normal life. Normal sober life.
Some good things:
Got some fabulous new cookbooks for my birthday - really enjoying making some tasty new things! (crunchy carrot salad with coriander and almonds and a lemony dressing, Moroccan chick pea salad with green beans, chocolate pikelets!)
Getting warmer here in NZ - am about to start tidying up the garden in this house we are renting and plant some herbs and flowers. Am buying the boys a trampoline.
Lots of smiley faces wherever I go in this community. Building up lots of new contacts and look forward to getting to know some people better (and them me).
Got some nice second-hand gumboots at the school gala on Saturday - good for gardening and next year's rugby season (sideline supporter me). Also got a nice hat, some ginger crunch, some new cassette tapes for the car (Michael Jackson, America, The Eagles, Queen), a great crafty cushion and some Russian fudge.
Some fun new shows have started on the tele - Amazing Race, The Block, Married to Jonas. Reality TV addict me.
Onwards.....
Love, Mrs D xxx
The good things far outweigh the bad things.
ReplyDeleteWhat is Married to Jonas?
The party will be a boozy bore fest where no-one talks about anything but work.
And the Friday night dancing and pizza would be just as fun on your mocktails.
JJ xx
AND you will wake up fresh and feeling fantastic. If I ever considered drinking again, I believe the thought of a hangover would stop me in my tracks.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, when I get to feeling the way you do now, I go back and read some of my old posts...it reminds me why being a boring, sober drunk is the best role I've ever played.
Stay strong Mrs. D! I can't imagine you would EVER not have a good time.
Sherry
I don't go to functions that are really just about getting drunk, especially if I'm tired or overworked. No need to prove anything, even to myself.
ReplyDeleteThose recipes sound delicious.
i'm not a big partier anymore either. Mostly because i only felt comfortable when i was drunk and i'm afraid that if i went i'd just be introverted and uneasy.
ReplyDeleteBut i really appreciated your post for reminding me that i'm going to have problems whether i'm drinking or sober, but at least my sober problems are smaller and easier to deal with.
Spring time and getting out in the garden sounds nice. Love the sound of all the things you picked up at the school function. They all sound so simple and earthy yet with a fun twist. Especially intruigued by the sound of russian fudge. Yeah, sounds like all is as it should be right now. You'll get the MA work figured out. You're one smart cookie.
ReplyDeleteDrinking has ups and downs too. At least we remember our sober ups and downs....maybe even learn something in between. Glad you're still sober.
ReplyDeleteGreetings from flooded, gasoline shortage, no electricity New Jersey. Day 33.
Those recipes sound really good! I'm jealous that your gardening season is just starting; ours is ending soon. Messing around in the garden is good, cheap therapy! I might have been a fun drunk in public, but most of my drinking was done in private...and certainly was no fun. Depression, anxiety, and shame were my best friends; so I guess I am lucky that sobriety feels so much easier than that mess.
ReplyDelete