I was sitting at a table in the marquee at about 10.30pm chatting with some friends. We were all having a great laugh. The DJ was spinning some 80's tunes (Madonna, Cyndi Lauper etc) and the bride and groom were on the dance floor in a big circle with all their mates (all mid-twenties, sporty types) having a total blast.
There were people dotted all around the huge marquee, at tables with candles lit. Fairy lights were strung around the ceiling and there was a really happy buzz on. I was having a great time - it had been such a perfect, lovely, loving wedding right from the start, a real festival of love - and I suddenly thought, what do these people who are drinking have that I don't right now? And the answer? Nothing! There was nothing that they had that I didn't. What I mean is, I didn't feel left out, or that I was missing out, on anything.
Does this make sense? We were all at the same table at the same wedding having the same fun except they had wine and beer in their bellies and I didn't. And from where I was sitting I couldn't see that I was missing anything. We were all having a great time it was just that I happened to be sober and they weren't.
Daft Punk got us on the dance floor! Had a good boogie for about 5 songs then had lovely goodbye chats with the hosts and the bride and groom etc (everyone tired and a bit blurred and happy) and then it was midnight I drove us all home. I LOVE DRIVING HOME!!! (almost as much as I love waking up the morning after).
I'm helped now by the fact this is actually the 6th wedding I've done since giving up the booze and I keep getting better and better at it. Every time I do another thing sober, another party or wedding or dinner or function or whatever, it gets easier. So try it once. But don't give up. Try it again. Try it again. And try it again. It starts to get easier and easier and then more fun and more fun. Honest.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Long may it remain so. The alternative doesn't bear thnking about.
ReplyDeleteKeep trying, yes! The first time of ANYTHING is awkward and everything gets easier (because we get better and smarter).
ReplyDeleteMadonna and Daft Punk and sobriety--good times!
You just sound so healthy. In every way. :o)
ReplyDeleteI think it's fantastic that you're sober and celebrating that very fact. Keep it up -- it's totally inspiring! When you look at it, being sober isn't necessarily about not having something, missing out. It's about having a few extras: the ability to drive home, the benefit of knowing exactly what you're doing and saying, and the bonus of a good night's sleep and a happy morning after. I can't fault it.
ReplyDeleteAnon from Wellington.
i think you sound great, and if that is self-satisfied, then you've earned every molecule of it. i'm just like you, i don't need booze to be friendly and talk to people. and i've got sleep to save me from my self. all is well :) happy new year to you!
ReplyDeleteYou should be proud of yourself! You've come so far and you make the choice to stick with it, every day.
ReplyDeleteSo, dance it up, lady.... you deserve it.
Mustn't sound too happy or proud now. Oh no, you really mustn't. What will people think?
ReplyDeleteYou're amazing! Let it Shine!
Hi there. As an aspiring soberite i think you sound happy and content, with relief mixed in. This is good, it gives me hope. Plus, after reading Dec 10 post about being "flat", I trust you are being honest. Good days, not so good days and bad days, thats life. Now.....drunk me would have thought you were smug and self-satisfied..but that would have been a reflection on my thinking not your words. I would have been jealous because you have what i want and (probably) made it look easy. happy, sober people used to frustrate me terribly, but this year I'm hoping to change that and become one myself. Thanks for a great blog.
ReplyDeleteYou have every right to be proud of your accomplishments! What you're doing is huge and you should be patting yourself on the back.
ReplyDeleteYou're so lucky that you don't need booze as a social lubricant! i always have, being painfully shy before i started drinking, and it's still one of the hardest things for me to deal with. Still, it's a lot better than the alternative!
So it is possible to have fun at a party after becoming sober and not just 'getting through it'?? Good to read your post, to know fun still exists in the dancing and being at a party kind of way!
ReplyDeleteIt's so true. Some of these revelations will never be in any alcoholic book.....I love driving home too! If someone told me that while I was still drinking, I would have told them they're full of shit. Day 98.
ReplyDeleteYou could never sound smug. Just honest and lovely and best of all...sober.
ReplyDeleteYay you!
Sherry
I get those occasional golden moments, as someone once called them. I'm glad you had one at this wedding, it couldn't happen to a nicer person. And I too love driving home.
ReplyDeleteNO, no Mrs D! You don't sound smug at all. I loved reading this post! Although it was good to read the postscript too, just for the comparison to previous drunken weddings. I loved this and found it inspiring - particularly as I'll have a wedding in 4 months time and the hosts have already been going on about the full open bar and how I 'must' drink then. But, you know, I'd like to actually REMEMBER their wedding and not make a dick of myself and wake up refreshed and alive and happy. So, this post was one that I am taking to heart and will no doubt refer back to when needed - the optimism is wonderful, not smug. Never.
ReplyDeleteLilly x