Mr D had the day off work on Friday and the kids were at school/pre-school for the day so he and I went out for lunch - a rare treat! I was very happy driving into town.
The restaurant had a special lunch menu where you choose two courses and one drink (red wine, white wine or a nice coffee) for a fixed price. We quickly choose our food and our drinks - mine was coffee and his was a chardonnay.
I'm telling you when that chardonnay arrived I could smell it so strongly and it was a LOVELY smell.. big and buttery, just the way I used to like chardonnay. So I remarked to Mr D; "that smells nice" and he said "nah its horrible, really awful, honestly" to which I faux-snarled "yeah right you dickhead" and did a dramatic hissy-fit kind of head flick and stared out the window taking fierce sips of my bubbly water and then we both laughed.
It was a sideshow. It was me acting out loud my reality and him cheerfully going along with it. The reality was 'I-can-smell-that-wine-it-smells-yummy-bummer-I-can't-drink-it-because-I'm-an-alcoholic-that's-just-a-fact".
So we acted out the sideshow - it took about 30 seconds - then we got down to chatting and after about two minutes I'd forgotten all about it.
And we had a lovely lunch! The restaurant was buzzing, there were lots of ladies lunching together, boozing away merrily (not that I noticed much, ok yeah I did ha ha), the food was delicious and so was the COFFEE!
Afterwards we raced home and I got busy making up the spare bed for my sister who was coming from out of town to spend the night. I got the vacuum out as well and at that point got to thinking how if I'd had a wine at lunch it would have felt really dissatisfying right now because all I'd be wanting is MORE WINE. I'd be itching for more but it would only be 2.30pm and therefore difficult to just keep sinking glasses of wine in quick succession like I could after 5pm.
Because once I get alcohol in me all I want is more alcohol.
That's why I'm an alcoholic.
That's why I don't touch alcohol any more.
(Do you like the dramatic way I lay those sentences out separately?!)
Also just quickly read another brilliant book this week - The Interventionist by Joani Gammill. She's on Dr Phil and the show Intervention I think - used to be a big-time pill addict but now helps try and get others to rehab. Full of juicy stories of her interventions interspersed with her personal story. A great read.. rips along and she drops loads of wisdom along the way. I really enjoyed it.
Love, Mrs D xxx