Mr D had the day off work on Friday and the kids were at school/pre-school for the day so he and I went out for lunch - a rare treat! I was very happy driving into town.
The restaurant had a special lunch menu where you choose two courses and one drink (red wine, white wine or a nice coffee) for a fixed price. We quickly choose our food and our drinks - mine was coffee and his was a chardonnay.
I'm telling you when that chardonnay arrived I could smell it so strongly and it was a LOVELY smell.. big and buttery, just the way I used to like chardonnay. So I remarked to Mr D; "that smells nice" and he said "nah its horrible, really awful, honestly" to which I faux-snarled "yeah right you dickhead" and did a dramatic hissy-fit kind of head flick and stared out the window taking fierce sips of my bubbly water and then we both laughed.
It was a sideshow. It was me acting out loud my reality and him cheerfully going along with it. The reality was 'I-can-smell-that-wine-it-smells-yummy-bummer-I-can't-drink-it-because-I'm-an-alcoholic-that's-just-a-fact".
So we acted out the sideshow - it took about 30 seconds - then we got down to chatting and after about two minutes I'd forgotten all about it.
And we had a lovely lunch! The restaurant was buzzing, there were lots of ladies lunching together, boozing away merrily (not that I noticed much, ok yeah I did ha ha), the food was delicious and so was the COFFEE!
Afterwards we raced home and I got busy making up the spare bed for my sister who was coming from out of town to spend the night. I got the vacuum out as well and at that point got to thinking how if I'd had a wine at lunch it would have felt really dissatisfying right now because all I'd be wanting is MORE WINE. I'd be itching for more but it would only be 2.30pm and therefore difficult to just keep sinking glasses of wine in quick succession like I could after 5pm.
Because once I get alcohol in me all I want is more alcohol.
That's why I'm an alcoholic.
That's why I don't touch alcohol any more.
(Do you like the dramatic way I lay those sentences out separately?!)
Also just quickly read another brilliant book this week - The Interventionist by Joani Gammill. She's on Dr Phil and the show Intervention I think - used to be a big-time pill addict but now helps try and get others to rehab. Full of juicy stories of her interventions interspersed with her personal story. A great read.. rips along and she drops loads of wisdom along the way. I really enjoyed it.
Love, Mrs D xxx
I have waiters zooming past me daily, dozens of times a night, with wine glasses on trays, me catching the wafts of aromas and bouquets. i am used to it, and it doesn't phase me, as I am too busy to notice, but every now and then one gets me right in the kisser and it lingers. Perhaps a smoky zin or a a zingy Riesling or a downright decadent Amarone. And for a moment I am transported to the times I would do blind tastings, or being at a winery, or at a wine expo, or just enjoying different tastes after work at the bar (that's how it starts, then goes uggggllllyyyy...lol). But that lasts for just a sec, then the reality hits and I move on. Been there done that. I don't linger because there is no need to linger. I know the deal. What was once a luxury and then a necessity is now downright suicidal. The feeling passes and like you, sees the folly in this thinking. I know that a sip leads to a glass leads to several glasses and then several bottles and then vodka, beer and anything with a number and a "%" sign after it. Ugh. So, like you, an alcoholic, Paul needs to remember that and move on. Sparkling water or a strong coffee is all this cat needs.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post...thank you, Mrs. D :)
Love and light,
Paul
Never, in all my years of drinking was I able to drink during the day. I used to wonder why until I sobered up and took a good hard look and found exactly what you described here...once I got started, all I wanted was MORE. That meant if I started at noon, I'd be plastered and passed out by six. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the book recommendation. It's on my wish list to read. Guess it gets to stay!
Love and hugs my friend,
Sherry
Love how you spell out why you can't drink I'm the same as you. Day by day I don't drink and it is ok. Strength to you.
ReplyDeleteGosh I would have been the same - totally focused on getting more. It is the disease of more. I still like the smell of a good glass of wine but I hate people breathing their wine fumes over me when they're drinking. Yuk.
ReplyDeleteI stuck my nose in my Mr's red wine recently, expecting to whiff up a delicious bouquet of berries, licorice, tobacco and barnyard... and all I could smell was vinegary fumes which made me go "YUK!" I really must be totally over the wines. YAY. Also spent a weekend with my boozy family, and it was really lovely. I just minded my own fizzy water business and had a great time with them all. XXX Sue
ReplyDeleteI too, cannot have one drink I always want more. I am trying hard to give up but not successfully at the moment.
ReplyDeleteYesterday was out with friends at a Spanish restaurant and everyone was drinking. I had two glasses and then when I got home of course I wanted to keep on. Finished off a bottle of wine and then onto the gin and tonic and today I feel like crap.
I should know that one drink just sets me off. Will I ever learn?