Ok so I'm 2 1/2 years sober and even I've found it somewhat confronting being out of my sober bubble (home) and around people who are all drinking all the time. We've travelled away for Christmas and New Years.. down country to see both our families. Everyone's totally used to me being sober now (someone actually tried to hand me a champagne cocktail today and I had to say 'not for me thanks' twice before he face palmed with embarrassment). I thought it was kind of funny.
But yeah, I've been feeling a little bit awkward sometimes at the drinks-being-poured stage. Awkward mixed in with a bit of dismay that most people can just drink and not worry about it. So here's some of the thoughts I think when I get hit with those uncomfortable feelings.
'It won't matter in an hour'
'It won't matter when I wake up in the morning'
'I wonder if any of these people get the drinking guilt like I used to get'
'I hated that drinking guilt so much'
'I'm so pleased I don't have drinking guilt any more'
'Maybe I'll make myself a coffee, that'd be nice'
And then the feeling fades and the moment passes and sure enough it doesn't matter that I didn't have the alcohol like everyone else. I never wake up regretting not having drunk the night before.
I hope everyone who is sober has a fabulous sober Christmas. I hope everyone who desperately wishes to be sober has a fabulous Christmas too, and holds on to the nugget of truth that it is possible to live a full and fun life without alcohol in it.
There are carrots on the driveway for the reindeer and right now I need to go and stuff Christmas stockings with gifts for three little boys. Ho, ho, ho.
Love, Mrs D xxx