Occasionally I have moments when I'm walking from one place to another or driving somewhere when I suddenly think "I'm just moving around my life and I never touch alcohol any more and it's no big deal."
It's farking amazing that after all the angst and guilt and worrying and heavy drinking that was the end of my drinking days, followed by the cravings and emotional turmoil and pangs and woe-is-me that was my early sobriety days, all the thinking, thinking, thinking I did constantly about drinking, all that bloody brain noise regarding me and alcohol did slowly fade away.
So that now sometimes I find myself moving from point A to point B having a little moment thinking 'look at sober me moving around my alcohol-free life!' And it feels totally super-cool in a low key, lovely way.
Not bells-and-whistles amazing or grit-and-grim angst, just low key and lovely, normal me moving between point A and point B and being a sober person.
I just saw a photo someone took of Zac Effron with his six-month sobriety chip around his neck.. just cruising between point A and point B being a smiley sober dude.
My particular point A this week was the main facilities block at a camping ground and point B was our tent site. I was carrying a pink plastic bucket full of dishes I had just washed in the communal kitchen. Waiting for me at the tent site was Mr D, my sister and her husband, all sitting around in deck chairs having a wine and chatting.
I didn't care that I wasn't having a wine too.. I was happy walking with my pink bucket, and my little private thought that I was happily moving around my sober life and it was totally, fabulously, fine.
Love, Mrs D xxx