Saturday, December 28, 2013

Happy sober moments

Occasionally I have moments when I'm walking from one place to another or driving somewhere when I suddenly think "I'm just moving around my life and I never touch alcohol any more and it's no big deal."

It's farking amazing that after all the angst and guilt and worrying and heavy drinking that was the end of my drinking days, followed by the cravings and emotional turmoil and pangs and woe-is-me that was my early sobriety days, all the thinking, thinking, thinking I did constantly about drinking, all that bloody brain noise regarding me and alcohol did slowly fade away.

So that now sometimes I find myself moving from point A to point B having a little moment thinking 'look at sober me moving around my alcohol-free life!' And it feels totally super-cool in a low key, lovely way.

Not bells-and-whistles amazing or grit-and-grim angst, just low key and lovely, normal me moving between point A and point B and being a sober person.

I just saw a photo someone took of Zac Effron with his six-month sobriety chip around his neck.. just cruising between point A and point B being a smiley sober dude.

My particular point A this week was the main facilities block at a camping ground and point B was our tent site. I was carrying a pink plastic bucket full of dishes I had just washed in the communal kitchen. Waiting for me at the tent site was Mr D, my sister and her husband, all sitting around in deck chairs having a wine and chatting.

I didn't care that I wasn't having a wine too.. I was happy walking with my pink bucket, and my little private thought that I was happily moving around my sober life and it was totally, fabulously, fine.

Love, Mrs D xxx

8 comments:

  1. i was just thinking about this! While i have to be careful about letting myself go in other areas (eating too much Christmas candy, isolating, playing too many games on my phone...), i've realized i am over my urge to drink, and with that behind me, dealing with everything else is that much easier!

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  2. Wonderful, those times when the struggle is gone and grace takes over, the simple ease and beauty of the movement of life. It is the peace that does not demand anything from the world, the bliss of contentment. Happy for you that you have all that in your life. And love your words like farking that add to my US vocabulary, even though I'm not certain what they mean! Thanks.

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  3. You make sobriety sound so cool, like its the place to be. I love that. It's natural, it flows, it's just life without alcohol or mind altering drugs.

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  4. I have to admit, during my wacky, semi-stressful Christmas visit with my sons there was a time or two I thought, "This is why I drank." But at the end of the day, I looked back and realized that not only did I not drink, neither did either of my boys. They weren't abstaining out of concern for me, they just don't think of alcohol as a necessary ingredient in their lives, it just wasn't thought of, even though there was a shelf of beer in the fridge. We were just moving through the angst and joy of the holiday without booze getting in the way. I'm so thankful.

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  5. I had my first taste of this! Friends were here for Christmas Eve and they brought wine. I realized later that I didn't spend the entire night wanting to drink. Instead, it was a curiosity and the realization that I really am different. After all, they left half glasses of wine untouched for hours. Who does that? lol

    Still, I'm thankful that I survived intact and am not really eager to have booze in the house again anytime soon:)

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  6. Oh to be you and living that sober unfazed cool calm collected life. I keep on this path knowing that eventually it will lead me to the same spot and I just can't wait :) xx

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  7. It rocks. That's all...it just freaking rocks.

    Happy New Year my friend.

    Sherry

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  8. Hi Mrs D, I know I am in 'catch up' mode today but wanted to comment on this post. This one hit the nail on the head for me. I am in that place as well. I have gotten to the place where its normal for me to not be drinking wine. And I LOVE IT. I can't imagine going back to that place. I don't know how I managed to fit in all that drinking into my busy life. Tonight I'm going out to a nice dinner with my husband and two dear friends. I no longer feel awkward in these situations that I am the only one not drinking. I am looking forward to catching up with our friends and really listening to the conversations. Back in my drinking days my head was filled with chatter to myself about how I could get another drink without looking like a lush. Great post Mrs D. As I was catching up today I saw some comments from Newbies. Your words and sharing make such a difference each day!!! You are the best!

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