Monday, December 12, 2011

Just quietly...

I'm just going to say this quietly because I don't want to come across as all cocky and confident, and maybe this is another pink cloud floating by in my life (I love the whole pink cloud concept, why are they called pink clouds anyway?) but I just love love love love being sober.

I have so much more self respect. Someone once commented on my blog when I was going to an event and was nervous that I should 'raise a glass of self respect' instead of booze and I thought that was such a great concept.  My self respect is so much higher now that I'm not feeling so horribly dysfunctional.

And another lovely Australian chap keeps commenting to me to 'be kind to myself' and I love that concept as well because it carries so much weight.  It doesn't just say be kind, it says look after, nurture, love, protect.  All those things are true when you are being brave and making a big scary, almost unheard of (in my circle of life) decision to live without alcohol.

I feel so much more 'in touch' with myself.  This is a hard one to explain but when my brain isn't affected by alcohol so much any more I can trust all my feelings and emotions, know that I'm feeling them honestly and fully and not under a cloud.  Also I don't have those little memories when they're vague and I think 'was I pissed when I thought that/said that/did that?' 

I just feel better.  Emotionally and physically.  I had a huge weekend this weekend with a BBQ on Friday night, two parties on Saturday plus hosting a lunch here on Sunday.  Last night Mr D and I got into bed at 7.23pm! and we were absolutely knackered, but I said to him how different it was to feel that exhausted feeling after a busy social weekend but without the headaches, sick guts, or guilt.

I actually can't think of a single reason why I would want to go back to wine again.  Hope I'm not getting lulled into a false sense of security.

(Incidentally parties are fine sober until about 11pm when people start giving you sloppy hugs and stop making much sense and at that point slipping out the back door is advisable)

Love, Mrs D xxx 


  1. Good on you! I didn't touch a drop all through pregnancy and whilst breastfeeding and it was certainly different to be the only person who knew what they were talking about at any given function around 9pm even. You are right about the NZ culture - it is completely normal for wine o'clock to turn into an all night affair.

    Your blog is refreshing.


  2. Love this post, I can agree with the self-respect stuff. I'm just over a year sober and I couldn't be happier. I scanned down and looked at the post before this one and had to laugh about the "alcoholic" stuff. I really had the same issue for a long time. I was a very very functional problem-drinker...nobody, even my husband, had any idea how much I was drinking. When I quit, at first I just told people that it was affecting my sleep (which it was-duh) but finally I got honest, with hubby anyway, about the problem I'd been having and he argued with me. Haha.
    Anyway, having that much of a "high bottom" (AA talk) made it hard for me--I felt like I didn't fit in with my drinking friends anymore, but I felt weird at the AA meetings I tried. Surprisingly at over one year, I'm just now really considering starting to go to AA on a regular basis (not daily, but weekly anyway). I think that I'm a little lonely for people who "get it" and, even though my stories can't match most of theirs (thank God! haha!!) at least they understand the struggles I've had and how much being sober is changing me on the inside.

    Anyway, great blog!

  3. It's funny how as the dust settles after giving alcohol away, we look around and see how everything just makes sense sober.
    And there we were going around half shot trying to keep up!
    I think the idea of all or nothing isn't such a bad way to go in so many areas of life.

  4. Hi there ;) I found your blog after you left a comment on mine, and I have to say, how enlightening it has been! What a great blog! Okay, I'm a real "square" when it comes to Alcohol, have never ever been sloshed...and when I do drink any it's only a very small amount, so it's good to get a real understanding about what people are going through in their struggle with alcohol. Thanks for sharing ;) Juanita.

  5. Hello Mrs D! Thanks for your comment and all I can say is I like your honesty too. We have have our own personal trials and battles and I think you are doing brilliantly fighting yours!