Phew. Ahhh. Ok. I'm starting to feel better. And don't worry, even when I'm feeling like shit and struggling with strong negative emotions like I have been with this relocation, and not sleeping and dreaming about drinking I'm nowhere near actually having a drink. No way. Nowhere near. I don't do that any more.
I struggle with learning how to live sober and having my emotions stripped bare and dealing with life up close, but I don't struggle with cravings or yearnings to drink. I am never ever ever drinking alcohol ever again. I am bigger and better and stronger than that bloody liquid and I am so so so so so so grateful that I have managed to get it out of my life.
We have just been away for the weekend while two rooms in our house were painted (to get ready to sell) so we drove an hour north to a beach resort and stayed in someone's holiday home we'd hired which was full of games and books and magazines and it had a trampoline and a bath and 2 TVs!
We stopped at a posh deli on the way out of town and spent SHITLOADS of money on treaty treaty food. Olives, chocolate, pate, salami, beautiful breads and olive oil and all manner of gourmet delights. Then we stopped at an organic butcher and spent an obscene amount of money on the best steak money can buy and got lots of beautiful fruit and veges from the local market.
And the weekend was great, the boys bounced their hearts out on the trampoline (we don't have one so it was a big novelty factor) and Mr D and I sat around reading and preparing food. We took the odd trip to the beach or the market but really we just relaxed. A small oasis of calm in the midst of this relocation storm.
Mr D drank a bit while I was away .. but nothing like he would have if I'd been drinking too. He says he doesn't want to drink lots if I'm sitting there sober, and that's fine by him. I would have been piling away a lot of wine normally (a weekend like this an excuse to drink more than usual) but you know me nowadays, herbal teas and the odd ginger beer. It's fine, really it is.
Love, Mrs D xxx