I'm sorry to say this and sound like a freaking uppity dickhead but honestly .. becoming sober is just the most awesome decision I ever made. And I am loving how the more time that goes on and the more events I go to and occasions that occur my sober-persona is becoming more and more comfortable to wear.
And believe me, I do not regret a single thing that came before this. I don't regret all the boozing I did and all the lushing-out I did and all the over-indulging I did because all of that got me to this point. Plus I should never feel like I'm missing out on crazy booze binges because I've enjoyed my fair share! I know exactly what it feels like having done it over and over and over for 20+ years. A couple of times I was asked 'is this just for a while or forever?' and I would say 'it's forever, I'm never going to touch alcohol ever again' and that would just feel so easy and clean and right. In many ways I'm simplified things greatly by just doing the blanket 'take it away completely' method of alcohol control.
I feel like I respect myself. I trust myself. I am comfortable with my behavior at all times and I just feel happy. I have simplified my life immensely by deciding to live without alcohol and even though that has involved a roller coaster ride, getting used to living with emotions and moods and having no 'escape' sometimes when I want it, the roller coaster ride is worth it. I'm strapped in now (ok I'm going to labour this roller coaster metaphor) and will continue to ride away and and endure some twists and turns and lumps and bumps along the way in order to benefit from the big picture which is ... awesome.
Love, Mrs D xxx
I have been so inspired by your blog. I am on my 5th day of being sober and read your blog from the start. I wish I was 7 months sober. Most I have done is 5 months. Well done you.
ReplyDeleteNail in my coffin was waking up on my neighbours sofa having stopped for a couple of drinks after work and being found wandering my street trying to find where I lived. Was supposed to bring milk home for my 13 month old twin boys. My partner is French and he just cannot understand how I could end up in that state.
I am feeling ashamed, disgusted, grumpy and annoyed and bored. But grateful to not have a hangover. Baby steps!
I keep a journal (when sober and not hungover) and have noted down some quotes and ordered some books. I am an extreme drinker all or nothing, I have tried being a 'normie' and manage it for about 4 months gradually drinking more and more before pulling a monster binge, not coming home, being carried home lots of shameful behaviours that my friends have laughed off and said it's fine, everyone does it. I have tried to believe them but it just isn't true, I am not fine with drinking. I am jealous of non-drinkers and always have been.
Not drinking is hard, but drinking is harder.
I am so impressed with how you have done.
Babies are waking from their nap, they gave me long enough to read to the end of your blog AND write this reply. Good boys!
(London, UK)
I know it feels so unbelievably huge to actually take the dramatic step to remove alcohol completely but it really is possible and in our cases, preferable. Treat it like you're having to relocate to another country. Massive change but necessary and possible. You can do it. xxx
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ReplyDeleteHappy Easter Chica! We're just like spring chicks in our sobriety aren't we? Chirp, chirp! Sorry, but that rollercoaster metaphor was a feeble attempt to wrest the crown of elaborate metaphors away from me, I remain queen.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, stick with it. I wish I could go back to when my babies were babies and quit drinking. If you stop now, you will never give them a moment of embarrassment, concern, or fear because of your drinking. You can do this.
Ha you make me laugh, so great to hear from you. Yes you are the metaphor queen! Chirp, chirp!
DeleteMrs. D!!! You did it and you so rock! Congratulations on your beautiful Easter weekend and with coming up with your perfect response.
ReplyDeleteI also look around sometimes and think, "What would alcohol add to this?" Sometimes my answer is nothing and sometimes it isn't but either way, I'm happy to be on the sober side of the equation.
Happy Easter girl!!!
So happy your weekend was such a positive experience for you. You deserve every ounce of happiness and peace you have.
ReplyDeleteWonderful news Mrs D. So glad it is all going so well.
ReplyDeleteLOL, we seem to have crossed comments. Thanks for yours.
ReplyDeleteWell said :) Isn't it such a great feeling to respect yourself? And to not have all of that baggage alcohol carries with it....very happy for you :) I'm on day 38 today......
ReplyDelete"I feel like I respect myself. I trust myself. I am comfortable with my behavior at all times and I just feel happy." Exactly!! it feels fantastic! I am so happy you are enjoying the hell out of sobriety. I sure am. Life is so much better. The psychic weight of boozing is so horrid and I could not really find any true JOY before I quit. So... regarding my blog link, I think you may need to delete me from your blog roll than add me again. I screwed it all up when I tried to change it months ago. Let me know if this works. You are so sweet to be concerned about my diagnosis. Isn't it amazing? We live on different continents, and we support each others sobriety? Love it!
ReplyDeleteWoohoo! Glad you had such a wonderful time! And everyone raving about how great you look is such a bonus!
ReplyDeleteXO
Well...all I can say is AWESOME chick!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're now having a great time whilst sober! That's fab! :)
I am so happy to read that you do not regret your past of drinking, I completely agree with you - it is those days that brought you to this very point in life where you write "becoming sober is just the most awesome decision I ever made". It is marvellous to read this, so incredibly uplifting and inspiring!
ReplyDeleteAll the best to you, mrs D! *hugs*
Just brilliant. As has already been said . . uplifting and inspiring . . . and Brilliant ;-)
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