It's Christmas Eve here right now, 8pm and our kids are bouncing off the walls with excitement. Mr D has had a couple of wines. Me a cranberry and tonic and a soda with lemon. Bit sick of all the mini bottles of fizzy I drink, ginger beer, pink grapefruit etc. I think they're laiden with sugar.
It's definately hard doing the festive season sober... well only from midday onwards when I really feel like drinking is what would normally be going on to celebrate Christmas eve/Christmas day/boxing day/every day. This is only my second sober Christmas and last year was very noisy with us hosting 20+ people and me being all obsessed with and stimulated by my new sober existence. This year it's just the five of us for Christmas and being sober isn't so exciting and new any more. Anyhoo... there's nofuckingway I'm going to drink so... onwards and upwards!
I got into bed the other night with the laptop to watch the Russell Brand doco on addiction on YouTube. It's quite good actually. Then I did some surfing around YouTube for sober stuff, as I sometimes do, and ended up watching a BBC doco on Ecstasy, also quite good.
In between these two documentaries I stumbled across all these other bits and bobs about booze and drugs and sobriety. Amongst other things I watched a video from some female addiction counsellor/rehab worker giving tips for going sober. For the life of me I can't find it again now but she was talking about picturing yourself in your mind going up to friends who you'd normally booze with and shaking their hand being all strong and sober. Basically it was visualisation stuff and I think that this has been one of my biggest techniques in staying sober, and I'm still doing it today.
If it's tough going not drinking, and you're feeling low, or flat, or bored or bummed out... visualise yourself climbing into bed sober. Visualise yourself waking up with no hangover. Visualise yourself sober in the future. The immediate future, the medium future and the long-term future. This afternoon I have felt a bit flat I'll be honest. But I keep imagining myself waking up tomorrow morning with the boys all excited about their stockings and it's not normal drinking hours so I won't feel like the only sober loser then. I'll just be happy and hangover free and it'll be Christmas day!
Merry Christmas everyone! This isn't quite the joyous post I promised but as always I write just as I feel. And I feel fine. I feel sober. I feel low key.. actually .. it's peaceful. I feel peaceful.
Love, Mrs D xxx