Monday, December 24, 2012

Visualisation...

It's Christmas Eve here right now, 8pm and our kids are bouncing off the walls with excitement. Mr D has had a couple of wines. Me a cranberry and tonic and a soda with lemon. Bit sick of all the mini bottles of fizzy I drink, ginger beer, pink grapefruit etc. I think they're laiden with sugar.

It's definately hard doing the festive season sober... well only from midday onwards when I really feel like drinking is what would normally be going on to celebrate Christmas eve/Christmas day/boxing day/every day. This is only my second sober Christmas and last year was very noisy with us hosting 20+ people and me being all obsessed with and stimulated by my new sober existence. This year it's just the five of us for Christmas and being sober isn't so exciting and new any more. Anyhoo... there's nofuckingway I'm going to drink so... onwards and upwards!

I got into bed the other night with the laptop to watch the Russell Brand doco on addiction on YouTube. It's quite good actually.  Then I did some surfing around YouTube for sober stuff, as I  sometimes do, and ended up watching a BBC doco on Ecstasy, also quite good.

In between these two documentaries I stumbled across all these other bits and bobs about booze and drugs and sobriety. Amongst other things I watched a video from some female addiction counsellor/rehab worker giving tips for going sober. For the life of me I can't find it again now but she was talking about picturing yourself in your mind going up to friends who you'd normally booze with and shaking their hand being all strong and sober. Basically it was visualisation stuff and I think that this has been one of my biggest techniques in staying sober, and I'm still doing it today.

If it's tough going not drinking, and you're feeling low, or flat, or bored or bummed out... visualise yourself climbing into bed sober. Visualise yourself waking up with no hangover. Visualise yourself sober in the future. The immediate future, the medium future and the long-term future. This afternoon I have felt a bit flat I'll be honest. But I keep imagining myself waking up tomorrow morning with the boys all excited about their stockings and it's not normal drinking hours so I won't feel like the only sober loser then. I'll just be happy and hangover free and it'll be Christmas day!

Merry Christmas everyone! This isn't quite the joyous post I promised but as always I write just as I feel. And I feel fine. I feel sober. I feel low key.. actually .. it's peaceful. I feel peaceful.

Love, Mrs D xxx

13 comments:

  1. I was also inspired by Bye Bye Beer to contemplate a sugar free January. We can all encourage each other. I have felt a little flat too- perhaps all the forced upon us must be joyous pressure. Merry Christmas. (no pressure) :)

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  2. You feel peaceful. Keep reminding yourself. Feeling flat is part of letting go of everything that is not peaceful. If you allow it it to be this and don't try to fill it with other 'drama'.
    Tonight, Christmas Eve, the wine bottles came out and were placed on the side bench in the kitchen, closest to the dining room. I was sitting at the dining room table and looked up to the familiar sound of wine bottles appearing; a promise of excitement, a promise of fun, a promise of escaping what is real, and what has the potential to be so much more. The promise represents a lie, even when it produces good results. It doesn't last. But boy, the thoughts, the feelings, that are so engrained, that rise to the surface with the sound of bottles and the sight of booze feel so real. It's like the bottles had a voice and if they could speak, what would they say? "You know you want me", "Remember me, I was your friend once", "You can't have fun without me in your life", "Everyone else can enjoy me. Why can't you?"
    It's a trick. it's a lie. I talk back to it sometimes in my head.

    And then I open the fridge and take out a sodawater and say "thank you, my friend. You really do quench my thirst."

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    1. Ditto...Beautifully said!!!

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  3. Merry Christmas my sweet down under friend. May you have much peace and love this Christmas and always.

    Love and hugs,
    Sherry

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  4. I have a friend who has never drunk alcohol and essentially only drinks when she is thirsty, either juice or tea or water -- that taught me a lot. I buy really good quality bottled water and stick to that much of the time.

    Once the initial challenge and thrill of being sober becomes just a way of life, we start dealing with other feelings like flatness, boredom or tiredness. I do enjoy my life a great deal but don't produce vivacity on demand.

    Congrats on your second Christmas sober!

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  5. Happy sober Christmas Mrs D. I'm looking forward to your blogging when we get to the other side. (Which is rather how I am thinking of it at the moment :) )

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  6. I love Mary LA's comment. "I don't produce vivacity on demand." Christmas is a hard time of year in the best of circumstances....add in any sort of obstacle and it adds a whole new dimension of a hard work to maintain our serenity. Its not easy....but thats ok. We always have a choice.

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  7. Merry Christmas Mrs. D. - I'm so excited to have January be a sugar-free, alcohol-free month. I'm definitely visualizing feeling lighter - mentally and hopefully physically.

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  8. Thanks for a real-feeling Christmas post Mrs D. We've just had all the neighbours over for a long Christmas lunch. This is my first sober Christmas, and the first year I've gone all out with a selection on non-alcoholic drinks... which nobody but me drank, so there are heaps of leftovers for the rest of the week! Visualising a sober bed time is indeed very powerful.
    XX Anon from Wellington

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  9. Hey Mrs. D, guess what? I got through my first sober Christmas and you know what? It was good. I was sober and present and relaxed and wow, it was so much better than I thought it would be. I thought I would be a bundle of nerves and all freaked out and flitting around trying to fit in and not be awkward. Instead I sat and listened and laughed with my family and I remember every last bit of it. What a gift. Who knew? Oh that's right. All of you sober peeps knew. Thanks for putting it all out there so newbies like me have some support. I appreciate you.

    Lynne 12 weeks

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    1. Lynne, congrats on 12 wks! I too had my first sober Christmas! Isn't it wonderful to just be able to sit and listen fully to conversations instead of constantly thinking about getting the next drink? I'm so thankful for Mrs D to opening my eyes to this group.

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  10. Mrs D, I just had my first sober Christmas in 13 yrs (since my last pregnancy). Tomorrow is 3 months for me! Yay me! Anyway, this holiday season I really was aware of how much alcohol is a part of the season. It's almost expected. I have to admit that the thought of having a cold glass of chardonnay crossed my mind quite often...as was the old habit of the holidays (and everyday). But that is my past and I am so blessed that I was finally able to make this a reality after trying and failing so many times!

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