I think it was after I started having kids (8 1/2 years ago) that my drinking habit started becoming really entrenched. I mean I was already an enthusiastic boozer prior to that don't get me wrong.. but it was after kids that it my habit really started bedding in.
Pre-kids I can remember a time when I realised that I was buying a bottle of red wine every day on the way home from work .. so for a while I decided that it would be more cost effective for me to buy boxes of 12 bottles at a time instead. That little routine didn't last for long because having a box of red wine in the hall cupboard was just an invitation for me to consume more, so I stopped with the boxes and kept myself to the habit of buying during the day what I was going to drink that night.
Then the kids came along and the habit became even more habitual and steady.. still within the realms of normality but once you take a good hard look pretty bloody steady and heavy and just lots and lots of wine. Right toward the end of my drinking I'd often run out of my daily allowance and head out to buy more.. at 7pm ..
The problem with being a boozy housewife is that every day it's 5 o'clock and when you're stuck at home with kids all day that 5pm point is the point at which you say 'it's my time now' or 'I'm still connected to the adult world' and glug glug glug. I'd often think of old workmates heading to the bar after work and imagine that me at home with my wines was just an extension of that.
One of the other issues with my drinking was that for any event to be considered 'fun' it had to be equated with alcohol. I gave alcohol all the power to make any night out cool. A wedding was just an excuse to get more hammered and that's why it was so special. A dinner party at home meant get the bubbles out and get lots of wine and get plastered. A disco party with the kids was just an excuse to drink more. A rare child-free night had to involve lots of booze.
I've written before about my child-free weekends spent blotto (here) and how tragic they were. Of course ditching the kids and heading to a hotel had to mean drinking more! than! usual!
But not now, obviously, not last night. Last night new sober me and Mr D had a night in a hotel - yes! Thanks to my lovely sister and brother-in-law who took our three boys for the night we have just returned from lushing out for 22 hours. Bathrobes, room service, a movie (Skyfall - not great but good enough), harbour view, books, lots of Words With Friends on the iPhone (my new obsession), lovely chats with my hubby, a magnificent sleep, and not a drop of alcohol. Not a single solitary drop. It wasn't needed, it wasn't wanted, it wouldn't have made anything better or more special and certainly not more restful. I know it's boring that I keep repeating how pleased I am to have removed booze and to have discovered how unnecessary it is to have a good time.. but it's true. So so so pleased and grateful.
And now to end here is a photo of my breakfast tray!!!!
A breakfast that I enjoyed hangover free. Bliss.
Love, Mrs D xxx