Sometimes people say to me "congratulations on your blog" or "well done on the book contract" and it's really lovely of them but I always feel a little odd about it because I felt like the congratulations should really be directed at the fact that I got sober. The blog, the book etc all comes second to me, my sobriety comes first and will always come first.
What I mean is that I didn't set out to write a blog and get a book contract and get noticed for all of that. I set out to remove alcohol from my life.. I set out to work really hard to turn my life around and get myself out of the boozy hell-hole that I was in. I didn't set out to gather material for a book or achieve world domination in social media... I just wanted to fix myself.
Don't get me wrong.. having a blog that people read is totally awesome, as is getting a contract to write a book about my sobriety, having a twitter account, and getting to write articles like this one for Mumsnet.
It's all totally great and fun and rewarding and fulfilling .. but it's all a by-product of the main event which was me facing up to an alcohol problem and getting sober. That's all that matters.
All that matters on a Tuesday night when I brush my teeth is that I am sober.
All that matters on a Friday lunch-time when I race to the supermarket to buy lightbulbs, milk and bananas is that I am sober.
All that matters as I tweet from my bed that I am so happy to be waking up hangover free is that I am waking up hangover free.. not that people might read and respond to that tweet.
All that matters when I get to do publicity for my book is that I will be finishing each day with a cup of tea and not 5 glasses of red wine because I don't drink shitloads of wine anymore.
I used to drink lots of wine all the time. I bought bottles all the time. I drank them rapidly, steadily and heavily. I did it all the time. And now I don't.
Shit I've just gotten tearful typing this .. that was unexpected. I obviously feel quite deeply about this. There's going to be a lot of stuff going on for me this year with the book coming out and other potential projects and I really feel underneath it all, all that matters is that I got myself sober. I faced up to a huge difficult problem and worked really hard to fix myself.
That's all that matters.
Love, Mrs D xxx