Friday, January 17, 2014


This is the 3rd time we have moved in 5 years. Five years ago we relocated cities and I was boozing merrily like the boozy person I used to be.. lots of wine to get me through. Bottles and bottles and terrible sleep and hangovers but managing everything fine.. just with an added dose of pressure on top courtesy of my beloved vino. And lots of suppressing my sadness at leaving our friends behind.

Then 1 1/2 years ago we had to relocate cities again (back to where we started) and I was newly sober (about 6 months) and there was no way I could practice any emotion suppressing. I cried and cried and cried and cried saying goodbye to our wonderful new friends. I still slept badly (brain noise), ate lots of sugar, craved wine a bit but was very determined about my new lifestyle choice so didn't drink, but felt really stressed and cried so many tears I could have filled a river. Felt quite glum about the whole thing and took a while to lift myself up even after we arrived here in this new suburb.

Now we are just moving within the same suburb from our rental to a newly purchased house. I am still stressed and not sleeping well (brain noise) and we all know about the sugar binging (I have been trying hard to keep a lid on it and also not beating myself up too badly)…but I am not in the slightest bit tempted to drink because I don't do that any more.

I am reminded constantly about how alcohol is wedded into the fabric of our society. Yesterday doing the final pre-purchase inspection at the new house the vendors were pointing out the cupboard under the stairs "perfect for the wine collection!" Ha ha everyone laughed and me too but I felt a bit annoyingly awkward.

And I'm sure when we finally pick up the key today from the real estate agent he'll probably give us a congratulatory bottle of bubbles. Isn't that what real estate agents do? In my previous experience they do anyway.  And, you know, champagne is how we celebrate everything.

But not for me ever again. In 15 years time when one of our sons announces he is getting married I will be celebrating with orange juice. In 30 years time I'll toast Mr D's retirement with a futuristic ginger beer. Forever more I will be giggling along with people when they make jokes about wine and deep down feel a bit different from everyone else. Because I live sober. And that's not very common is it.

Actually who knows.. maybe in 30 years time drinking alcohol will be considered anti-social. Maybe I'm on the CUTTING EDGE! Maybe.

Whatever the case I told Mr D last night that the cupboard under the stairs would be perfect for storing all the camping gear. He agreed.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Congrats on your successful move and I shall toast you with herbal tea ;)

  2. i completely agree. the constant booze jokes at work are getting to me. feel like laughing alone means I agree but really I feel like screaming "you are shooting yourself if the foot with all this booze"

  3. And in, let's say five years, I'm coming to New Zealand and we'll celebrate by drinking some NZ non-alcohlolic goody and SHOPPING! Of course, you may have moved to the US by then. ;-)

    Hang tough my friend. You're a pro.


  4. Who knew, we're on the Cutting Edge! Soak in some bubbles in your new home and relax.

  5. Someone pointed out to me the other day that the (tiny) city that I live in was known to be the one with the most pubs in the country. Someone else answered 'you should be alright then...' grrr how I resent these 'jokes'.. I don't want to make an issue every time someone says something like this to me so I normally just grin and change the subject. Why do so many people insist on these silly grand dad jokes assuming that everyone is obsessed with drinking. Good luck with the move :)


  6. It's the same here- everyone just assumes you drink. Ha ha, it is hilarious that you need a drink at 8 AM. Ho ho, yep, it is really funny that so and so is so hungover. I've started to get a little defensive (which I know isn't really reasonable, but still) when people act like booze is the great shining answer to all things great and small. "Get a LIFE" I want to say. "Booze is stupid." We are cutting edge- drinking in 20 years will be just like ciggies are today. And we will be founding ladies of the stupendous sobriety movement. :)

    1. And! Good luck with the move and settling in. Our move is in 3 weeks, I am hanging on to my sanity with a thread, but hanging on!

    2. I was just about the write the very same thing! All too often I find myself nodding along with people when they talk about how hilarious their hangover is etc. I don't say anything out of politeness/desire for an easy life. I do think that soon attitudes with change. If alcohol was looked down on in the same way cigarettes are, I'd be very happy indeeed!

  7. Mrs D, I love how clearly you point out the enormous part booze plays in our culture. I've waffled, but I am coming around to seeing that (for me) life without booze is much better. We can make our own culture by just not giving alcohol all that power. You've been a strong, sane voice in support of that, and I wanted to say a big thanks to you. Good luck coping with the stress and the move, and being kind to yourself in the meantime. xo

  8. Never got any champagne on my estate agents... only a large bill - chiefly unjustified for what they do frankly... ;-)

    Well I made it through my 25th wedding anniversary, my sons 21st, my daughter's 18th and my 50th so far sober... next up Mrs F's 50th, then our 30th... they keep rolling in, plenty of lemonade to be drunk yet

  9. Dear Mrs D, I am 7 months sober at the new age of 47 and my daughter is 6 months sober at her age of 25. She just finished college and is living with me at the moment. We are both so excited at how much better our lives are without booze. We feel like we're on the cutting edge too. Keeping it classy! Not drinking is the new black! II love reading your blog, especially during the first year of your abstinence. I have identified almost exactly with each month thus far. Thank you for being so honest, funny, and encouraging. Many times I've gone to your blog to find that little nudge I've needed to keep going. Thank you, Mrs. D.

  10. Mrs D, I've followed your blog under the radar for a long time. I'm now sober 11 months and feel able to 'come out'! Alcohol is indeed bound up in all that we do, all we celebrate and much that we talk about, perhaps because I live in the UK? I am stunned by the number of times during a day at work someone says 'we deserve a drink after that', or 'I'll need a large drink tonight after this day'. Sometimes I feel sad that I cannot do that anymore, but sometimes I feel superior knowing that I can cope without doing it! Depends on that ever-changing mood I guess!