Sunday, April 13, 2014

A boring post (with a heartfelt ending)

I'm finding it hard to think of something to blog about this weekend because I'm kind of in an extended phase of 'just being sober everything is fine there's no trouble here'.

Hard to complain about that!

My sister asked me on the phone the other day if it's easier being sober now than before (when I first gave up) and I was like "HELL YES"! I do still feel uncomfortable when I'm in a sad or low phase but that's the only 'issue' I have to deal with now in sobriety. The whole not-drinking-alcohol-no-matter-what-thing is pretty easy.

Do you think that it's time alone that makes sobriety easier? That the more time that goes on.. if we just hold on and don't drink no matter what comes at us … and more time passes … that eventually just time alone is going to make it smooth out..?

Do you think that's the case?

Or do we have to do more than just wait for time to pass and do some hard-out work into exploring the reasons why we drank and fully explore the tricky emotions that booze did such a wonderful job of masking? I think I've been doing that, I'm trying to do that anyway.

Maybe there are some long-term sober people (like 2-3 years sober or even longer) who still struggle every day and miss booze and feel left out when other people are drinking etc. I haven't had any sad pangs about not drinking for ages now.. I'm sure they'll come again at times .. but right now I just don't care that my life has no alcohol in it.

We went out to dinner at some friend's house on Friday night.. Mr D and the husband were drinking whiskey (I think it was whiskey, or rum, or something) and I think the wife had a beer or two.. I wasn't really noticing. It just didn't matter. I know what's best for me, I know how me and alcohol mix, and for me I know that my life is immeasurably better without wine in it. And I'm always happy driving home.

Not much more to say than that right now. Hope all of you lovelies out there in this wonderful online space we call the sober-sphere are having weekends that are lovely and sober, or maybe they're gritty and sober, or maybe they're still a little booze soaked and miserable. If it's one of the latter sort of weekends (newly sober and gritty, or booze-soaked and miserable) then I truly hope from the bottom of my heart that things improve for you soon. Hold on, you will find a better day.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. Just boring sober me this weekend...except that I'm not really bored...just happy and content and SOBER!

    Love us this way!


  2. Nothing wrong with a good ol' simple "another sober day" kind of day. I think we get into so many different phases and fireworks and meltdown early on and there seems to be the inevitable sort of let down after awhile, as the dust settles and {gulp} life catches up to us and we start living it.

    Ho hum, yeah?

    Well, if I am boring (and I am), then I'll take that any day over crappy drinking drama and watching my life burn down to the ground once again, taking hostages.

    I too hope that everyone is having a sober groovy weekend. And like you said, if you ain't, then come back for a visit. :)


  3. Hi Mrs.D, interesting post; not boring at all ;-) Or maybe it is, and I like this kind of boring. A lot. You ask if it's time alone that makes sobriety easier or do we have to do some hard-out work into exploring the reasons why we drank.
    I thought about this a lot. Hell, I spend years and years thinking about why I drank. Now I'm sober I think the answer,for me, is amazingly simple: alcohol is addictive, I am/was more sensitive to this addiction than some others and that's pretty much it. I NEVER, in over 20 years of drinking, thinking and talking about it, found a real reason why I drank, nor do I think I ever will find it. I was hooked on the stuff and now I'm blisfully not.
    And probably it's even more about your mindset than time. When I finally decided to really do something about my drinking and joyned the 100 dag challenge -Thanx Belle!- I found out I really like being sober. When you feel like that it's not that hard at all. All the moderation attempts were horrible because I only thought about when I could drink again. This makes it a LOT more difficult not to drink, and very hard work indeed.
    Enjoy your sunday,
    Nuchter Maya

  4. Mrs D I am still struggling with those questions and have started some CBT to help gain some clarity on the issue. I'll let you know how I get on :)

  5. I am going on day 3. I am enjoying your confidence and found that I would drink as a reward to me. I did something good so I was going to have a drink when I got home. I sit here and kind of wish I would have drank differently that last night...last Thursday. You know, had a better buzz, drank more since it was my last night. Unfortunately, I had no idea that that was the last night. I will keep plugging away.

  6. I want to buy cold drinks online because I don't like to go any where .

  7. As time goes by, being sober feels more and more normal, so I'm not jumpy or obsessed about it any more. I'm not wondering "will I? won't I? What will I say? What will I drink instead?" Now I know. I don't drink booze. I drink soda water if I'm out 'drinking'. That's the new normal for me, it feels comfortable, and that's the end of the story. Now I can be obsessed with all the amazing things I can do with my hours and hours of sober time!

  8. Great blog Mrs D.

    I am incredibly grateful that the obsession and compulsion to drink alcohol was completely removed from me 28 years ago.

    Looking back, I have to report for the first year or so, I felt a little jealous that other regular folk had a "relief valve" or so to speak, where as with support and fellowship, I was learning how to be happy and content in my own sober skin.

  9. I believe that not drinking and time alone feel enough. I think the work of recovery finds me because I have consistently chosen not to drink. It doesn't seem hard, but natural in a "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear" sort of way. The lessons themselves can feel hard at times, but that's probably when growth is happening, so I'm grateful. Adding structure (12 step programs, self-improvement regimens, etc) is helpful, but the gift of removing alcohol and time have given more than I could have possibly imagined. xo