Saturday, April 26, 2014

A lovely lunch...

I cooked a roast lunch for a girlfriend yesterday whose 40th party I completely missed some weeks ago. When she and her husband arrived at 12.30 I pulled out a bottle of bubbles and said "this is your birthday party so do you want to drink bubbles?!" I have no idea if they were taken aback at me doing this because they know I'm sober.. but they both said "Sure!" and seemed happy that I was making it a celebration.

Mr D was quick to get the flutes out and open the bubbles.. also quickly filling my flute with bubbly water from the Soda Stream before I had to sort myself out with something non-alcoholic. I appreciated that. Then we all raised our glasses and toasted 'Happy Belated Birthday!' and got on with catching up on each others news…

It was a lovely chatty lunch, this chick is awesome - both interesting and interested - the best combination. And her husband is one of my oldest school friends. We always love spending time with them.

We moved into the study after lunch and Mr D offered them beers which was kind of funny because he'd shoved them into the freezer to chill them down and they'd semi-frozen.. so they were all drinking frosty beer.. oh how we laughed.

The champagne and beer didn't make this lunch special. The champagne and beer didn't have all the power. The power was in the raised glasses and smiling faces that were pleased to see each other. The power was in the delicious food and the kids excitement when the Easter Eggs came out. The power was in great chats about new jobs and exciting ventures. The power lay in all those things.. not the liquid in the glasses.

I've finally got hold of a copy of Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol by Ann Dowsett Johnston. I'm only a few chapters in but can see that it's deserved all the praise it's been getting. A great mix of her personal story and some rock-sold journalistic investigation. I'm going to read it slowly, relish it, and be very happy having it in my growing collection of recovery literature. Already quotes are jumping out at me.

"The alcohol industry is selling young women on the notion that only really, really good things happen when there's alcohol. And to have really, really good things happen, you have to drink."

What a crock of shit that is.

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. It truly is a crock of shit, but I bought it some 40 yrs ago , stupid stupid stupid. Sounds like you had a lovely day.

  2. Hear hear Mrs D - crock of shit is the perfect definition ;) x

  3. I have moved to a new village in Mexico and I had the new neighbors over last night. Two couples and they each brought along a couple of beers each to drink. Now I'm used to friends that bring coolers full of beer for cocktail hour. I can't tell you the number of times I offered to make them a drink, they all politely refused and they each only drank one beer! I found myself asking myself, "Didn't they like us? Why did they leave before they finished their beers?" I had mentioned to one of them that I was a recovering alcoholic and I'm sure the word spread and maybe they were not drinking out of deference to me. Or maybe there really are people that don't drink to get drunk! The conversation was delightful and intelligible, I have to say. I'm not used to that either. lol

  4. I am going to spend a weekend with friends later this month and I am worried because we usually drink bottles of wine together. It is part of our ritual at the end of the day to break out the bottle of red. I haven't told them I am not drinking. I want our festivity and fun and laughter. Thank you for letting me know I can still have it even if our glasses are filled with different beverages.

    I have been reading your posts in order and gotten to 2012 but today I gave myself permission to start at the top and work backward. I heard you on the bubble hour and can't wait for your new book. I will order it immediately when it is available in the U.S.

    I am on day 24 of my sobriety. Thank you so much for the gift of this blog Mrs. D. Your voice and story help me. I will be traveling to New Zealand in March of 2015 so if I can't get your book in the U.S. I will be sure to pick up a copy then. Maybe by that time I will have the courage to tell my husband and my friends that you and I share something in common.

  5. It IS indeed a crock of shit. I always thought drinking made life I'm figuring out people and living makes life fun. Not ho-hum living like I used to do..REAL living full of new adventures and experiences. Really enjoying the people I am with, the places that I go. No constant tug on my brain for alcohol and cigarettes. I am free.

  6. What I find about drinking is it is an illusion. Friends of mine told me about their wine tasting adventure and they thought it was fun. It sounds terrifying, they had been drinking then found themselves walking on an overpass that had a low railing to a busy freeway. One person fell down in the road they thought that was funny. I thought how innocent it all seems til somebody dies. I was happy I was home, sober on my couch with sober hubby!