Woke up this morning incredibly grateful to be sober. Just so amazingly heart-burstingly happy that I live alcohol-free.
Dropped Mr D in town for work this morning and saw all the 9-5ers traipsing through the wet streets to work. Monday morning blues. Have to admit I looked at many of their faces and wondered how many of them are secretly miserable after a weekend of heavy boozing.
Maybe they all spent the weekend happily boozing! In which case good on them. But what if they were feeling down and low and glum on this grey Monday morning,, knowing something is wrong and that things need to change.
Freaking the fuck out at the thought of never touching alcohol again.
It is a bit of a head-fuck at first though isn't it… imagining never never touching alcohol ever again ever in your entire life. I suppose that's why the one-day-at-a-time thing works so well. Don't freak yourself out by thinking about forever… just think about today. Just for today I won't drink.
Just for today I won't drink.
Just for today I won't drink.
One of the other hard things at first I think is that we imagine every other person in the whole entire world is going to be partying on and having a wild and crazy time being incredibly happy and free and we're going to be the sole sad boring sober loser sitting at home being miserable.
It's not true! Don't imagine yourself in a lonely sober boat. Imagine yourself on a glorious sober cruise ship full of thousands of other happy sober folk. Not Miserable! Just being.
Last week I actually purchased two bottles of wine at the supermarket for a houseguest. Actually chose and paid for a bottle of chardonnay and some shiraz. Took me a while to find the bloody stuff (opposite the cheese and yogurt - who knew?!). It was a bit weird but also a total non-event to be honest. I don't care.
Life without alcohol is just life. Just life. It's rather ordinary after a while. Just normal living, totally like normal.. everything just the same just never any brain-bending liquid in my glass. Crazy normal. Sober is the new boring norm for me - and boy am I happy with that!! Whoop!
Love, Mrs D xxx
staggering into work hungover is the absolute worst and something i never intend to deal with again. so gross. ugh. ugh. ugh. amy
ReplyDeleteI'm with you Mrs D! At first I was so worried about being a non-drinking loser, and I couldn't imagine a life without booze. But somewhere along the sober line, I turned a corner, and now I honestly feel super grateful that I NEVER have to drink again... AND I feel like a winner, not a loser. Who knew? XX
ReplyDeleteYou are such an inspiration Mrs D :) xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Mrs D for such Monday morning positivity. Day four here and just for today I won't drink.
ReplyDeleteRose
Once again an awesome post.
ReplyDeleteYES! You sound so free--and, isn't that what quitting drinking eventually is all about? For me, it is. I am not one of those people anymore dragging myself to work on Monday, having spent all three weekend nights so drunk that I will have to drink on Monday night, too, to ease the hangover pain (which will start the vicious cycle all over again). I saw some friends' posts on Facebook on Sunday morning, and man, did they sound *miserable* from a night of drinking/no eating. I DO NOT MISS ANY OF IT. Such a waste! Life goes on, and no matter how hard it seems--and is, for the first months, and maybe year--you get on with it. You live and it is good, and alcohol becomes a distant memory. You don't "need" it anymore for *anything*! Thank you, Mrs. D! Love this post. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's actually better than normal isn't it...at least better than the old normal...because it's clear and honest and just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteHugs -
Sherry
I like your Monday morning non-blues! It's lovely to see how much you enjoy being sober. I keep on looking ahead to you, and I'm starting to get what you're talking about. It really is freeing to just step away from the drink. Amazing! I hope you have a great week! xo
ReplyDeleteThanks Mrs D.
ReplyDeleteMrs. D, Today is my day 30 of sobriety and I'm damn grateful. Its been a slippery slope so far, but because of people like you and my girl over at Unpickled, I've been able to get through the shit and you said it sister, sometimes it is a head fuck! I've had visions of laying on the beach alone with hubby with a big glass of wine in my hand. Ahhhhh....and then I think, if I did that, would I be embarrassing myself at the next party and seeing a picture posted on Facebook the next day with my hand on some chicks boob? (Yep, did that) No thanks, don't want to live that experience again. So, I'm taking your advice and just taking one freaking day at a time. Today will not drink wine, today I will drink coffee (and probably ALL day) Guess I'll have to deal with that addiction another day. xoxoxo Mrs. D. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteThis is a message you don't see every day! Sobriety after dependence can sometimes lead to pitfall in the hole of gloominess, but that can be worked around. With a ladder built upon one's support group and hope, anyone can go about and climb up and off the hole. I'm very happy about your happiness! Keep on being awesome, Mrs. D!
ReplyDeleteScott @ MidWest Institute for Addiction