Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Child-free weekends spent blotto

My mum has been giving us child-free weekends ever since we started breeding.  It's my standing birthday present, a weekend off whenever we like in the year and she'll move into our house to look after our kids - how awesome is that!  An opportunity to rest, relax and reconnect with Mr D away from needy offspring.

The first time we did it we left our new baby in the suburbs and went to stay in a fancy boutique hotel in the city.  It was so fancy I ordered a lavender pillow from the 'Pillow Menu' left in the bedroom!  Then I got shitfaced on wine, some gin or whiskey (I can't remember) from the mini bar and finally a Baileys in the bath. Then I fell into bed and slept like crap breathing alcohol fumes all over the fancy pillow, negating any lovely soporific effects it supposedly had.  The next day I was hungover as hell and felt quietly miserable (the niggling knowledge that I had a drinking problem was probably just a tiny spec at this point, but there nonetheless). Second night we went out to a restaurant for dinner where I probably valiantly tried to drink heaps again because That's What You Do!  When You're Out! Without Kids! Celebrating! Drink, Mrs D, Drink!

You know that kind of heavy drinking never made anything more fun.  I can see that now.

Went home more tired than before, feeling like crap and trying to make my mother believe that we'd had a wonderful break.

Another one of these weekends we went by ferry to a Island near the mainland and stayed in a Bed & Breakfast place and got hammered on wine the first night and again slept like crap .. hungover the next day ... (am I relaxing here?).

Two other weekends away with Mum left in charge I was pregnant so no chance to booze freely.  But not drinking because you're pregnant doesn't feel the same as not drinking because you choose not to drink.  I don't know why.

So this weekend just gone was the first one where I actually felt like I took full advantage of what mum was offering.  I had such fun at the wedding. There was a spell in the middle where I felt quite conspicuously sober - there was a lull in proceedings and everyone was just boozing and piss-talking which I was finding it hard to join in with. But once the sun went down it didn't matter that I was sober, I just joined in the loose talk and had a great time!

And one of the absolute highlights of the weekend for me was lying in bed with Mr D the following morning drinking cups of tea and chatting away happily for an hour or so until we had to get up and check out.  We looked out to the courtyard of our eco-motel with grass growing on the roof and the triffid cactus and talked about the wedding, his work, my studies, the kids, or whatever.  It was great!

Love, Mrs D xxx


  1. TheNoiseandHaste here: You know, it really is quite astounding that you're doing this on your own. Also, I love that you are still able to socialize and enjoy yourself without alcohol. It sounds like a lovely weekend, Candy notwithstanding.

  2. After a couple of years sober, it struck me just how much time I had wasted over the years -- holidays, special occasions (friends' weddings), sexual intimacy (sex was drunk and sloppy), films I couldn't recall, meals i couldn't taste because I was drunk, travel experiences all foggy, the number of mornings spent too ill to get up, the number of evenings just a blur, the relationships filled with volatile and erratic dramas, the hours and hours of guilt --

    So good to be sober.

  3. You have such a gift of writing Mrs D, you and Mary LA above describe so much of my life before I stopped. I had very few happy memories unclouded by guilt, remorse and shame.

    It's not like that now.

  4. Oh the memories...or lack thereof. I had those same experiences and after your post and the comments above, two things come to mind.

    1. Oh how I wish I had all that money back. Not the money I spent on booze, the money I wasted on fancy hotels! I could have done the same thing at a cheap hotel - after the first 6 or 7 drinks it really wouldn't have mattered!

    2. The feeling that I HAD to drink as much as possible or I'd WASTED the weekend...wait...what?

    I haven't been away with the hubs yet because I wasn't sure about how it would affect my sobriety but I think as soon as we get a little cash together, I'm calling the Ritz Carlton.

    Thanks Mrs. D for the lovely words. They so encourage me.

  5. They encourage me too and I haven't had the problems you are describing. I really appreciate the comments as well.

    I had an experience a few years ago. I have five children, and the eldest was living on his own, and the middle three were on a social outing where they stayed at friends grandparents b&b. We were driving to our do some renovating and I used the time to talk, and it blew up in front of our little girl. The thing that upset me most was that it happened with only one child at home, which to me was nearly like being child free. I was excited by this time nearly alone. I haven't been excited like that since I think. It is just not worth the disappointment and the thing that the other one didn't understand what the time meant.

    My worked night shift part time when my kids were little. She had this thing that her Mum didn't help her blah blah. I did get her to babysit for a night here and there, but could count all of them. Her part time was over the weekend.

    I have been asked on fb to go to the pub in my hometown 2 hours away on Friday night. Then my 18 year old daughter who has just started uni asked for money to go to lunch with her friend (she has just moved to the city) I say yes to her, and I think I won't be going to the pub.

    My friend on fb posted a special deal on a hotel near the beach that has chocolate covered strawberries. I couldn't really see what was special in all of that, the strawberries. After that though my daughter made some in a great recipe on I realised then it is special. So many things I think are silly that turn out to be nice. I live a long way from the decent shops, and I had bought some new underwear. My hsuband was in the shop and I asked him if they had some the same on the phone. They did but slightly different. I ended up with lace! Do you know what? I will never knock it again. Maybe I just had to be ready for all this stuff.

    Mary LA I just love your comment. It helps. Makes me feel better about the things I worry about.

  6. thank you so much for being a blogger and sharing this journey! I just found your blog tonight and have read the entire thing from start to today. I am on my 21st day of being sober after at least seven years of drinking every day. I am in the "pink cloud" but I am also over-thinking, and alternately feeling terribly bored and sorry for myself and proud and excited for the future. please please keep writing! I am gaining so much from your strength and courage!

  7. I'm off to a wedding this weekend - my first sober - will be an experience to share next week!
    I understand the compulsion to drink until sick when you are given a child free moment. I thought it was entirely normal until 297 days ago...
    This blog and your writing just goes from strength to strength...