I just want to offer appreciation to all the other bloggers I follow, people who share their ups and downs and points along their sober journey. I really really appreciate all of you for being there on my Dashboard with your posts about how things are going for you all. I am trying to comment as much as I can, as I know how much I appreciate when you do to me. Time is getting more brief now that I have started writing my MA. But I am always going to make time for my blog and other people's blogs as this is my AA in a sense.
And as I've said before I really love all you anonymous people who visit and tell me that you appreciate hearing how I am doing this sober thing. That's cool. You can all do this you know. We all can. It is entirely possible to live a life without alcohol.
I realise now that I don't spend a lot of time yearning to drink any more. I have just adopted a firm 'that's the way it has to be' attitude with regards to living dry. So I try not to indulge in imagining sipping a glass of wine or going out drinking instead of going out sober. I still feel flat sometimes and worried that I'm boring at events, but I'm hoping that will pass. Most of my energy is spent getting used to living with emotions stripped bare. That the main thing I think about.
Christopher Kennedy Lawford is here in New Zealand speaking around the country on beating addiction. Man he hit it hard. I heard a clip from him on the radio today, a promotion for a long interview that will run on Saturday, and in it he was saying he took loads and loads of drugs every day for 15 years. Then he said 'it is possible to stop. And it is possible to still be the mad fun person that you were' (or words to that affect). I liked the sound of that. It's speaks to the desire I have to still feel like naughty, fun Mrs D.
Also just read 'Happy Accidents' by Jane Lynch the coach from Glee. It was the fact that she lives sober now that got me to her book, I always like reading about other people's paths to sobriety. She says she was 'struck sober' one day. I thought that was cool. Once she decided to stop she just stopped, went to AA for a long time but doesn't any more because she feels she's locked in her non-drinking habit. I love that her mind seems like a steel trap that she can exercise at will and bend to form the new habits she wants to form. She's a woman totally in control of her own life. Cool! Got a couple of book suggestions from her that I'm going to follow up on. Oh, and I'm reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, that's a great book about taking control of your life. I like that she offers loads of detail about lots of little things she did to make positive changes.
That's it for now. We have a tummy bug in the house so I think I'll be up a bit tonight holding buckets and rubbing little boys backs. Oh joy. See ya.
Love, Mrs D xxx