I'm interested to hear about people that did sobriety alone and then something changed and they started going to AA. Lets just put it this way. I am open to ANYTHING. Anything at all that will help me to live the rest of my life sober. Right now that doesn't include joining any groups. But that's not to say that it won't in the future. As I said to Mr D yesterday evening, I've got a long long road ahead of me.
What am I now? Seven months sober? That's nothing. NOTHING! When I'm 50 I'll have ten years sobriety behind me, I'll still be relatively young. When I'm 65 it'll be 25 years since I last drank. That will make me sober for longer than I drank. Jeez! It's a long long road and I have no idea what will be thrown up for me along the way. So let me just say I am open to whatever it takes and if I find that shit is coming up that I wasn't expecting or that is tempting me to turn back to a life filled with wine wine wine, then I'll do whatever I need to do to not do that.
Talking to Mr D about this yesterday I said to him 'Seriously, why did I drink all that wine?' and he said 'Because you could. And now you don't.' Ahh .. if only it were that simple. Maybe it is! Maybe it is that simple. But maybe it isn't. I don't know what to say except watch this space. Obviously I'll be watching this space because this space is me! (Ok this post is getting a bit twisted up inside and around of itself).
Off to a party tonight, my step-brothers engagement party, and am feeling a bit glum that I'll be dry. But I'm sure it will be totally fun when I'm there. And as it's all catered the food will be amazing. Because I can drive we'll save on taxis which is a positive. Also I'm planning on working tomorrow afternoon so it'll be good not to have a hangover. Another positive. Of course there are a million positives to living sober. I'm just acknowledging the slightly glum feeling I have prior to this party.
On a brighter note on Thursday night Mr D and I went to see one of our favorite bands - Elbow - play at a venue in town and MY GOD IT WAS AMAZING. We love Elbow.
The gig was at the same place where I went to see another favorite artist of mine - Jarvis Cocker - and got so hammered that I fell over with no provocation. Just fell over on the floor. Pissed as a chook.
Thursday night I was sober, I was so so happy, I was singing along, I was full of happy endorphins and even got tears in my eyes on a couple of occasions. Oh happy sober me.
Love, Mrs D xxx