I just have to write a quick post because I've been absolutely inundated with amazing feedback since the item went to air last night. I've received hundreds of emails, numerous new comments on the blog.. messages on Facebook and Twitter… amazeballs.
Every single email and comment has been heartfelt and warm and supportive and kind and lovely. I just feel fit to bursting with all the amazing warmth that is coming through my online spaces. And the overwhelming message I am hearing is … 'I am just like you'.
It's just phenomenal how many of us are out there. Take a look at all the comments on the last couple of posts particularly.. it's un-bloody-believable.
I write in the book how lonely I felt when I first started on my sober road. It is a very lonely place to be when you're locked in this addicted mindset and it's not visible to others.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. You are not alone. We are not alone.
I will reply to every email eventually.. I am going to do that because it's amazing what you've all written to me.. it just might take me a while, that's all. But I've read you all and I've cried and I've smiled and I've understood and I've been deeply touched.
Thank you.
Love, Mrs D xxx
I can't even begin to say how much your programme last night and blog sang to me. I have been tormented by my drinking and wanting to stop but not feeling that AA is the place for me coz like you I'm highly functioning and no one has noticed or ever commented on my drinking. Now I feel I can join a community. I feel "just like you" too, I am wondering how the supermarkets are going to fare since your programme - a marked decrease in housewives throwing a couple of bottles of wine into every trolley load is bound to effect profit margins :). I am so excited for you and so excited to be one day sober
ReplyDeleteYou and I are on the same time line - day 2 and feeling good about it. Thanks Mrs D for getting me to do something about it!
DeleteHi Mrs D. Saw the item on Sunday last night and just wanted to say I think you're incredibly brave - and strong - for going public like that. What a wonderful support you are to everyone else in the same situation.
ReplyDeleteI've just finished watching your item from last night. I relate to your story so much, and have only recently started my own journey out of addition. I absolutely loved your honesty, thank you so much for sharing. You're amazing :)
ReplyDeleteI admire your courage! You have shown me that it is only through acknowledging what is really going on, that you can truly move forward. I don't drink alcohol, but I can relate to the feeling of being out of control and repeatedly making choices that are not in my best interest. Kia kaha on your journey!
ReplyDeleteVery excited that the TV prog has happened but unfortunately I can't view it on my ipad over here in UK. Any ideas anyone?
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine how stressful it must have been for you waiting to 'come out' in such a major way. You would never have imagined anything like this when you quietly started this blog. So pleased for you. Rx ps when is the book actually out? what's it called? we can't wait!!
ReplyDeletewww.soberisthenewrachelblack.blogspot.co.uk
Just watched the news program -- so exciting!! You did beautifully and I'm so proud of you for putting your story out there to help others. I know it will.
ReplyDeleteYou were wonderful. As was your husband.
ReplyDeleteGreat inspiration to us all.
Just want to say how brave we think you are going public with your journey, given the high profile your husband has. It has obviously been inspirational for many. All the best for the future.
ReplyDeleteYour appearance has been really unsettling (in a good way) for a lot of us in the same boat and yesterday so many people were talking about it. What an inspiration! No wine for me last night.
ReplyDeleteI was there over 20yrs ago the day I had my last drink was the day after I drove home so drunk and could not remember doing it and still cant to this day.Have not had a drink since and dont miss it one little bit.Just to think back now to that incident I could habe had an accident and killed someone or myself.
ReplyDeleteyou and Mr D were both bloody brilliant. thank you so much for a very moving and well presented piece.
ReplyDeleteHi Mrs D. Wow the timing of your programme was serendipitous. I have been considering for sometime now my drinking habit, knew it was bad. I kept asking myself why am I
ReplyDeletedrinking? And until I knew that, I knew I wouldn't make the effort to stop or the effort would be short-lived. Well this month has been momentous for me, I figured out what was driving me. Your programme just ignited my resolve to do it. I have only just started my journey but I haven't had this sort of resolve for a very long time. I'm a single mother, that runs a full on business, I'm the cook, cleaner, the gardener, mechanic, supporter for so many of my friends, and used drink to numb, relax and push away the worry and stress in my life. Despite everything I have I didn't think I was a worthy person, and especially I realise of being worthy of having a partner in my life. Corin has been amazing and so supporting he must be bursting with pride. My ex-partner was not. Love reading the blogs, so great not to be alone, and that is what I thought I was, not lonely.......just alone. Haha had a wee stressful moment last night, well now my kitchen is immaculate, yes I'm a 'cleaner' too. Woke up clear headed, still resolved and had morning coffee in a very nice kitchen. Long journey ahead, but reading your blog everyday is wonderful. Thank you
Hey Mrs D, Mrs K here Dam just wrote a long post and deleted it ha story of my life- not up with these blogg thingies anyhow your story is like listening to my life- except I am a bit older and have had an extra husband along the way. I have given up the wine for 6 months through HSM but I was only signed up for 6 months due to drink again in 10 days- but having massive panic attacks about drinking- having to count drinks, throw up so can function the next day, monitoring my behaviour, deal with crushing hangovers etc My life is so much better the past 6 months without the wine- I can think straight and like a fog has lifted- you inspired me to keep going, so thanks and enjoy this Wellington day, with a clear head I have a law exam on Thursday so have to get on with study!!! This has helped me blurting all this out to a stranger, weird aye, thanks for your bravery and will get your book too
ReplyDeleteafter watching your show and reading your posts. Mrs C is now going with out. 3rd day today. Well done and thank you.
ReplyDeleteWell done!
ReplyDeleteThank you. For the seven years I have been sober, I felt alone. I am soooo not alone.
ReplyDeleteYOU GET IT
A freaking maze balls!!!!!
Thank you.
Awwwww how amazing! Walking in the light...its a beautiful thing!
ReplyDeleteYou are truly an inspiration especially as a Mum who decided to man up and put her family and herself first in such a brave way. I am slowly getting through your blog and I am hoping to read your book too, keep on doing what you're doing, awesome!
ReplyDeleteMrs D, I watched your story last night on TVNZ Ondemand and came onto your blog this morning.
ReplyDeleteYour words..."You’ve got this terrible push-pull in your brain, where you like – I don’t want to drink, but I do want to drink, but I don’t want to drink, but I do want to drink” (5:11 into the start of the programme). W0W!! These words are a replica of the turmoil I go through, trying to fight myself before going down to the shop or bottle store to buy my nightly bottle of red. I try not to have any more than one bottle in my house each night – or otherwise it would definitely be guzzled down. Hey, if there were 3 bottles, I would go for it!!
When you were saying those words, the realness, the authentic facial expressions on your face, the way you scratched your head and nodded it side to side – I thought SHITBALLS (love that expression of yours), you captured my thinking in just several seconds.
You are truly brave!!!
You are truly strong!!!
You are truly inspiring!!!
You are truly awesome!!!
You are truly helping us with this poison!!!
TODAY…
24th OF JUNE 2014…
Mr H IS GOING WITHOUT
!! DAY 1 STARTS !!
Crapper, I better pull this off.
Anyone else wanna start the ride with me today?
I'm on board with you Mr H, only day 3 for me. Coming home tonight from daughters sport and thought love a drink, just one, no you don't, yes I do. I got a bottle of lemonade and a pizza instead. My name is still anonymous, what shall I be besides - sober?
DeleteToday is day one for me too! Mrs d inspired me also. Went to bed at 8pm cos I couldn't think of anything else to do. I would normally be drinking! I'm excited but a bit scared but I know this blog and you lovely people out there will help me !
DeleteGreat going, anonymous sober - so day 4 for you begins. Anonymous # 2, well here we are on day 2 - Mmm, day 1 is out of the way - pheew! Lets keep picturing the joy in Mrs D's face imprinted into our minds...
DeleteThanks Mr H! Day 2 going ok so far!
DeleteHi Mr H & everyone else, Day 5 and still feeling very resolved. Have had a few 'oohhh cld do with a nice glass of wine', but had a glass of lemon-water instead and ....voila.... urge filled. Went out to dinner last night for friends birthday, she asked me what I would like to drink and I said LemonLime&Bitters, she just looked at me, I said I'm on a detox.......a permanent one I hope, she replied gosh I'm so close to doing the same thing. No temptation, we were at a bar/restauruant. What I have noticed is that I'm sleeping like the sleep of the exhausted, but did wake up with dull headache. Maybe it is the body detoxing all the crap we build up in it, the liver's finally getting a chance to start working. Keep up the good work you guys.
DeleteHi everyone, keep up the fantastic work! For me I felt the first 2 weeks the worst, buy you have to keep telling yourself to stay strong, it's not easy! I found rescue remedy pretty good to calm yourself, and putting on a hat and scare and go for a walk the same time you would normally have that first drink helped me, it is so worth while when you start feeling amazing and the want to get out of bed everyday, I thought my life was alright but now being able to remember everyday! Wow what a change! I use to have to check my phone in the mornings to see who I had even rung/text as I had no memory! I dont know how I actually functioned! I was drinking up to 3 bottles of wine EVERY night to nothing, then you start noticing the extra money that was normally gone down the toilet, I also starred losing weight....no sugar! And now 47kg down I feel amazing, It almost feels like that was just another world I lived in and can't believe how good this new world is, I have teenage children and the most amazing partner who tell me everyday I'm doing well :) I wish I could reach out to those who are having a tough day and give them the biggest hug and whisper YOU GOT THIS ! So many of us are like mrs d :) she is a amazing lady and can't wait to read her book. I often thought of starting my own little group in rotorua, because at the end of the day sharing story's can be the best medicine ever :) hope everyone has a fantastic day!
DeleteIm in mr h. Day 2 but im worried I cant so this without some support. Maybe we need a group for online chat and check in. I guess a blog or something similar. Thought s? Tonight will be tricky. Ill call myself Lou...when I figure out how!
DeleteI am. I've been on this journey for a while, and I've learned so much, but always seem to drift back. My story is a bit different in that I drank moderately and responsibly until I was in my mid-40s. Probably because of that I've always assumed I can get back to that place. Success has only ever been temporary. I've been thinking about writing my own blog about it for ages, but chickened out in case I failed and let people down. However, the times I've been successful have been when I've been accountable. Time to finally admit I can't drink moderately, and can give it away entirely without missing it
ReplyDeleteHey, Mrs D (can we still call you that?), look what you did! You got sober, got brave, went on TELEVISION and I just suspect that you might have changed the course of a few people's lives. That's not trivial. I hope you've had the most celebratory drink in the land, with edible glitter and bubbles and the rest, to mark this occasion. Also CAKE.
ReplyDeleteHi Mrs D, thank you for sharing your story on TV, you have amazing courage. I am a single mum and work school hours and have problem with the "witching" hour 4 to 7pm during the week!.. Your story resonated with and me and a lot of my friends who are 40 something housewives,mums who work school hours - and want to do something different other than drink wine either alone while getting the dinner ready or with each other for a quick wine after school! sounds terrible, but we are all good mums and love our kids to bits, but enjoy wine! Do you think Dry July is a good place to start....? That's what we were thinking about doing... help!!
ReplyDeleteSounds familiar ...someone suggested dry July and everyone laughed..no one has committed!
DeleteHurray for the brilliant (and now we also know, the beautiful!) Mrs D - telling your story with wit and warmth and welcome all aboard the road to recovery. I'm so happy to be on this journey together!
ReplyDeletehave a drink each night
ReplyDeleteSo I had one glass if red this eve...then stopped. Just ate half a tub of ice cream! I have certainly been through 'phases' of excessive drinking in my life. Typically referred to as a binge drinker. 40 with two kids, working etc. I have been the same with cigarette addiction and food! The thought of giving up wine saddens me, like saying goodbye to a good friend. I justify my drinking because I can go days without ...therefore I can't be an alcoholic..right. Many thoughts ...no action. Thanks for the inspiration Mrs D.
ReplyDeleteFantastic job! Had to fight back the tears. Please keep inspiring us!
ReplyDeleteYi
ReplyDeleteDay 2 here. History tells me I'll probably crap out on day 3 or 4 and that if by some miracle I get to day 10 (only done that one once in about 4 years) then I lose a couple of kilos, am so proud of self that decide to celebrate by buying wine!! Wahoooo. Not. I live in Japan now but am coming home in a month and really hope I can get through this month before I am in NZ and surrounded by shelves and shelves of cheep Hawkes Bay savvy at the supermarket.... meh.
ReplyDeleteI just watched your interview and the tears fell freely...it was lovely to see you and your beautiful family. You have been a big help to me since I first gave up the drink (more than 10 months ago!!!!!) and I think you are just wonderful. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI have just seen this interview, Wish i knew about this before, I am the wife of an alcoholic who has been sober now since 7th march, Thank you for your interview, i was very secret about this issue and sometimes you feel as though you are suffering on your own. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteYou are so deserving! Can I get your autograph?
ReplyDeleteDay 1 over. ive been hiding bottles daily for 10 years. Its got to stop. Im 40 next month. Holy shitballs. I love my kids and I'll do it for them. I dont love myself much but things might be different sober. Thank you so so much Lotta.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much you have started something here. 1st July WAS my day but yet again on my second glass. Holy shit I have so many reasons to stop. Why cant I get it... 4 days not enough . Just read your book, how fn awesome.
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous july 4th, 5.51 pm, its not easy, its a real mind set. Stay in touch with the blog, keep reading and know that there are many of us out there.
ReplyDelete