How to talk about it...

I think I'm going to have to work on getting the tone right when I talk about my removing alcohol from my life.

I don't want to come across as anti-alcohol because in many ways I feel the opposite.  Like - 'don't let the fun stop just coz I'm not drinking!' (that feeling comes mixed with a bit of me desperately trying to prove that I am still fun without the booze).

I also don't want to come across holier-than-thou. Like 'you're all dysfunctional drinkers coz I know now that drinking heavily is all about suppressing emotion and how can you really feel when you're pouring wine down your throat constantly, by the way how is that drink there treating you?' Yeah, that's not a good look.

And I want to explain to people that I wasn't exactly vomiting and falling over every night so to that end I'm developing some quick responses to explain what led to my sober lifestyle.  'It was just wine but it was lots of it' and 'Only ever after 5pm but most nights' and 'it wasn't crazy binges just steady heavy drinking' and 'I just got sick of being a boozer' and 'I always thought I'd give it up one day and now I have!'

Did a lot of talking about my new found sobriety on Saturday night at my 40th birthday party (a joint party with my brother-in-law who also just turned 40).  Lots of lovely old friends from out of town came along plus some family members (step-brothers) who I haven't seen lately.  I wasn't sure how I was going to approach the whole alcohol thing - the party was in a bar and started at 8pm so it was bound to be a boozy affair. 

I was nervous before-hand, not because I thought I would drink but just because .. well .. um .. just because .. I suppose just because I was going to do the party sober and I had no idea how that would go.

Well, I found myself announcing to my loved ones 'have you heard my big news?!' soon after they arrived and talking really openly about it while drinking red bull and smoking the odd cigarette (which I haven't done for years).  It was a good night and I was very proud of myself driving home at 2am!  Not so happy when I realised in bed shortly thereafter that I'd overdone it on the red bull and was too wired to sleep. 

Anyway, that's why I'm now thinking about how best to talk about my non-drinking.  But then again I suppose the longer it goes on the more everyone will know and it will just be a feature of my character.  Yeah, Mrs D doesn't drink alcohol so just give her a lime and soda.

That'll be me.

xxx