Sigh, so here we go again. Up and down, up and down. Yesterday afternoon I found myself getting grouchy and tired feeling. Wondering what was wrong. Wondering if I was low in iron. Wondering if I was hormonal. Realising it was probably just a normal 'tired' and 'low' mood hightened by the fact there was no escaping with a nice glass (or 10) of wine.
Didn't help that Mr D had a beer. Then a white wine. Then a red wine. Then anotherbloodyfucking red wine. Sorry. But his glasses kept confronting me. There it was on the bench. There it was beside the computer. Sigh.
Woe is me.
So I tried to just feel the mood. Have it there. Let it pass. I got into bed at 7.09pm! With the tele on and my new lovely white cotton nightie and a couple of little boys to read books with me.
Anyway now it's Friday and I feel the day stretching ahead of me. And the evening (Mr D is going out). So I'm going to think of some treaty things to look foward to. Coping mechanisms.
1) Remind myself all day how AMAZING and STRONG and ADMIRABLE I am for giving up the drink (through gritted teeth).
2) Go shopping for some treaty supplies for the pantry. Crystalised ginger, quinoa (I want to try it), fresh basil.
3) Wear a dress with a belt. Don't over-eat.
4) Clean enough to feel good about the house.
5) Do a little transcribing to feel good about my studies.
6) Watch a little day-time tele.
7) Start making lists for Christmas. Look online for some decorations - that's a good idea!!
8) Get down on the floor and play with my sons. Look at their faces and remember that this is their childhood and you are doing the absolutely best thing to make it the best it can be.
9) Look in the mirror and say to yourself 'Mrs D, you are doing it. You are good and you are kind.'
10) Lie sober head on the pillow at the end of the night and sleep well.
Happy Friday everyone.
Love, Mrs D xxx