…who does that? Who actually lives without any alcohol in their lives at all…????
Me. And thousands of others.
The wheels don't fall of your life if you remove alcohol completely. The sky doesn't fall in. The universe doesn't implode. Blood doesn't come out of your eye balls. You are not doomed to a life of mystery and feeling left out. You are not boring, dumb, weak, square or a loser.
You just live a life with no alcohol in it. And it's fine.
It's better than fine actually.. it's fucking fantastic.
(I'm not denying the difficult transition from living boozily to living sober… that's tough, but do-able).
I love my blog. I love that I discovered that using words and writing out my feelings and thought processes helps me keep on top of my brain and stay sober.
I love that people comment and chip in with their support or advice. I love that I get helped along the way.
I love that people get helped by me sharing my experiences… and can sometimes see reflections in what they themselves are going through. I love that they tell me that in comments and emails… it makes me cry sometimes, and feel full of happiness and warm with love.
I love that I feel no shame in admitting that I can't control the drug of alcohol.. and that every time I tell someone that 'I don't drink because I can't control it' they look at me and see strength, not weakness.
I also love Natalie Merchant's new album, and Elbow's new album, and the new bright green paint I covered our kitchen walls with this week.
There is a lot of stuff going on with me right now behind the scenes.. which will all come out soon.. to do with the book, and this blog and stuff… it's all exciting.. and nervewracking.. and wonderful and brave and real and important and cool. I love all of that.
But mostly I love being sober. I love that last night I had a cup of herbal tea, watched American Idol and then got into bed to read my book (and promptly fell asleep as per usual). I love that I woke up with no hangover and this is my life now.
Love, Mrs D xxx