The problem is shit happens.. big shit and little shit. Shitty Fridays and shitty Mondays and shitty any-day-you-like. Plans go awry, people say and do things that hurt or disrupt or concern or annoy. Sleep can be brief, bodies can be sluggish, eyes can be tired, feet can drag.
Kids can demand constantly and fight with each other all the time and whine and moan and scream and yell.
Workmates can tell boring stories or bring negative energy or sabotage plans or stuff up duties.
Family and friends can be overly opinionated or cause concern or sap energy or just be bloody thoughtless or mean.
Tradespeople can not turn up or turn up late...charge double or do a bad job. Service providers can fall short or fail to deliver. Things can break, leak, burn or bleed.
Shit. It happens all the time.
And we have these busy brains with this big cerebral cortex that keeps whirring away.. keeps us thinking and planning and wishing and projecting and fearing and worrying and … just endless whirring, whirring, whirring.
So it's natural that we want to escape. Just get away sometimes. This is why humans like to practice brain-bending… just to get away from all this shit that happens and general brain noise.
This is why alcohol works!!!! It takes us away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So it's Friday night and I'm grumpy. And my natural instinct as a human with a busy brain is to want to escape. But I can't escape because, you know, I'm a bloody alcoholic and don't touch booze because if I do I'm likely to fall back into a wine guzzling hell-hole that I don't want to be in.
Living sober means grinding through.. and going to bed early. That's all I can do.
Love, Mrs D xxx