There is no way I could be doing this thesis well if I was still boozing. To meet my deadline this week I have been staying up writing until about 10.30pm every night. It's been fine actually, fun even(!), and certainly has helped relieve the stress, just getting on and doing it. I've got my draft of the Literature Review to a really good point I think and now I'm just really looking forward to sending it off and getting feedback from my supervisor next week.
But how could I have managed this if I was busy drinking red wine like I used to? I'd have far fewer opportunities to work, I would have done deals with myself (I'll drink Mon night but will work Tues & Wed and then drink again Thurs). In the past with even just one or two wines in me I wouldn't achieve anything much in the evening, like doing bills or looking at recipes/making a shopping list, or talking on the phone. I never talked on the phone in the evenings. And I'd never stop at one wine anyway, it was usually at least 3, sometimes 4 or 5.
By the way have I ever mentioned how I used to have toast binges late in the evening? After Mr D had gone to bed I would stay up drinking and watching Reality TV programmes and then I'd cook myself toast that I would wait to go cold so I could layer on the butter and it wouldn't melt. I love butter. Sometimes I'd have 4 pieces. On top of all that wine. Then I'd crash out into bed. No wonder I've lost weight.
Anyway I wanted to write about the wedding we went to on the weekend, my 3rd since I gave up drinking. I really think I've got it sussed now, how to do these events. At this one after the ceremony when the bubbles were being poured on the church lawn I grabbed myself a mini bottle of lemonade and poured it into a champagne flute. It looked different obviously as it was a cloudy lemon color but I didn't care, I just wanted a stem glass! And nobody seems to care that I'm not drinking - it totally irrelevant to them.
At the reception I took myself off to the kitchen and grabbed a Red Bull from the fridge (my friend the bride had told me she'd got some in) and poured it into a tumbler to have with the meal.
I have learned from my past mistakes (my 40th birthday party) not to over-caffeinate myself with Red Bull! One is plenty, just enough to give me a bit of a buzz heading into the evening. I've become ridiculously sensitive to caffeine, hardly drink coffee now but when I do have one I can really feel it.
So yeah, that one Red Bull was just enough and I ended up dancing the night away very happily before driving home. Oh, get me.
There were some cliched drunk people there, one very sad fellow who was very sloppy very early but he had nice people looking after him. It was a super, low-key wedding and from my perspective another chance to prove to myself that I'm a much better version of myself now that I'm living sober.
And now I'm off to Sydney for the weekend with a girlfriend, child free! Husband free! Can't believe it. Better get the passport dusted off....
Love, Mrs D xxx