Ok my plan is working. I was feeling a bit more wobbly on my resolve and then after school yesterday went to visit the in laws and my wonderful mother in law said "I've got the wine chilling, would you like a glass?". Lucky for me my sister-in-law said first "not for me thanks" so I followed swiftly with the same. It wasn't too hard. I mean it was 3.30pm for goodness sake. I could detect a bit of surprise from my mother-in-law, she no doubt equates me with enthusiastic wine drinking!
I was thinking when driving the boys home an hour or so later that if I had had a wine, or two, I would be driving straight to a bottle shop on the way home to get more. This action would be accompanied by an intense internal dialogue about whether I should or not. Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no with always the YES! winning. Then I would have drunk probably most of it while I got the kids fed and to bed (Mr D is away working for the night).
So I thought hard about how that would have felt, and then came back to this blog to read my reminders about my drinking behaviour and all the BORING INTENSE DETERMINED OBSESSED UNHEALTHY AND HEAVY HEAVY drinking I have done inside my house. So don't want to go back there. Feel light again and good about my decision.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Mrs D, that is my issue as well. I have the 1 or 2 but then it leads me to want more...much more. And like you, I'd be making dinner and getting the kids ready for the next day. And that internal struggle...yes, no, yes, no, with yes winning. Its exhausting! I'm done with this. No more. Thank God for this blog.
ReplyDeleteSame, same, same. Enthusiastic drinker here, never just one or 2, internal head struggle, all while dealing with 5-7pm madness. Thrilled to wake sober this am. Thrilled to not indulge in another session at home. I identify with your final paragraph Mrs D. You are a blessing.
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