Jeepers, reading that story in black and white does just the trick I hoped it would. It sure does read 'dysfunctional'. I think I might write out a couple of more sad, unhealthy, dysfunctional facts about my drinking to ram this mission home. Because right now I'm thinking it's going to be a doddle to give up booze! But it's only been a few days and the memory of recent binges looms large in my brain. I'm sure as the weeks go by I'll be lulled into thinking I can start again, pressure will come on, and the pull, the incredible pull of the booze will call to me...
So...
It's not unheard of for me to dash out and buy more wine on a random week night trying to find an open bottle shop because the bottle we've just drunk isn't enough (Mr D is always allowed two small glasses, if he's lucky)..
I always pour a glass almost to the rim and slurp the top down straight away...
My eyes flit around furtively when there's wine open ... to check - who is pouring it, how big are they going, is there much left? how much more can I get before the bottle ends?
I can't count the number of times I've dragged my sorry ass to the gym and lumbered around hungover wondering if any of the other women in the class drink heavily too..?
I've got good at remembering to always have a glass of water and panadol beside me at night..
Today is the opening of the Rugby World Cup and New Zealand is going nuts.. we are heading down to the waterfront with the kids to soak up some of the Opening Party atmosphere then home to watch the All Blacks play the opening game. Usually I'd have a good bottle and a half of red wine to accompany that .. but not tonight....
Love, Mrs D xxx
I am having a little epiphany of my own on this end ... maybe I am not an alcoholic, but I definitely abuse alcohol and do not appear to be able to limit myself.
ReplyDeleteIt is all become a bit alarming ..... and I am not sure exactly where to start.
Day 1 done. Thank you Mrs D. I woke with a clear head of sorts but still feel I am recovering from the effects of Friday night followed up by a couple of small ones because we had friends for dinner and how could you not! Then a couple of my favourite beers on Sunday night because I had earnt them after a good day's work at home. I always have good reasons why to open a bottle. I definitely pour full and slurp straight away! Sometimes twice if the day is a particularly rough one.
ReplyDeleteI went to the gym plenty of times seedy and in fact after too much red on a thurs night I threw up mid pump class! And carried on. Gave myself a good telling off that morning (a few years ago now!). Ran for 3 hours after an impromptu thurs night drinks at home with family, so much fun at the time, so irresponsible to my body in the heat the next day. Another growling (that was 4 years ago). RWC opening night, I probably spilt more wine than I drank that night in the stands. What a waste of money and the poor person in front of me sitting on a damp seat. On a positive note, I actually drove for the RWC final, long story short, taxiing options to where we were staying were unrealistic, so I did the right thing.
I have got stories to match yours Mrs D, oddly I look forward to sharing them. Reading yours makes me realise it isn't just me but it is me and it isn't good.