Was out shopping at the mall yesterday - child free! - and bumped into some mates. We were chowing down in the food hall together having lunch and for some reason I told them I'd given up the booze. Forever! I said. They seemed a little bemused but interested and kind of didn't say much. They probably don't understand why, or know what to say. I was kind of breezy about it. Didn't really explain how dysfunctional my drinking is, although I'm sure I've tried to tell her before.
It's hard for people to really get it. Even Mr D took years to understand me and my dysfunctional drinking and why it is so unhealthy and unsustainable, and it's been staring him in the face for years. No one really knows except you, the drinker.
No-one else can hear your inner voice and feel your insane pull to drink.
No-one else knows your sneaky filling each glass to the rim and slurping the top down immediately.
No-one else knows your one or two drinks out will end in a trip to the store on the way home for another bottle to finish up because once you've started it's very very very very hard to stop.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Ive been reading your blogs fromn start to finish! This one was great, your friend asked, "How can we help?" That was very nice to read!
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Hi Mrs D
ReplyDeleteI'm reading along from start to finish like the person above. In tears after reading the "No-one else" paragraph, that is exactly how I feel.
I literally had a revelation an hour ago that I might be an alcoholic and decided to look for blogs! So glad I found yours :D
Si
You go girl!!! So amazing!!!
ReplyDeleteAnother day down. Could really have done with a drink last night, bad family news got worse. I am very sad. And it is the end of term and everyone is tired. And there is a major work project pressing. My friends know I drink a lot, I am often pilloried for it. In fact, at a 40th a couple of years ago, a friend (in a rather undignified manner) yelled, "just ask the pisshead!" OMG - ironically, I was on good behaviour as I had a running event the following day. At my hen's dinner, all my friend's could recall were stories about me on the booze. I remember feeling very sad thinking that I had been a kind, caring friend that had done so many nice things by them beyond being on the piss in their company. That was 11+ years ago. I must have got over the sadness. In recent years, since children, I have had boozey mates of old warn me in advance that they don't drink that much anymore, that they will probably drive, not have a big one etc etc! That is because I am always last man standing. Good to get these stories down, reminds me why the future needs to be a different one. Thanks Mrs D.
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