I read somewhere how that is what an alcoholics brain has, a peculiar amnesia, and forgets all the bad reasons why not to drink and remembers only the fantasy reasons in order to drink again. I can almost already feel that happening. No! I'm not going to let myself forget. That fantasy has gone, gone, gone. I just have to get used to living without alcohol. Planning events sober. I mean the evening is just going to pass and then it'll be the morning and will you have lost anything by not boozing the night before? I really just think I have to not touch it again.
Had a great chat with my gorgeous sister last night. Sort of told her my plan. It's pretty scary because I don't want to set myself up for a fall, or to be judged if I fail. But then again anything to help me succeed and if that's letting people know that I'm trying to live completely sober then that might help.
What's different about this abstenance is that I'm not counting the days like I used to, or thinking about what I'm going to drink on the night I start again. I'm looking into an endless stretch of no alcohol. My step-brother's wedding, my 40th celebrations, even Christmas and New Year's I'm thinking about being dry and it feels good...
I'm going to show everyone I can do this..
Love, Mrs D xxx