I'm really tired and really shitty and really would love a drink. There, I said it.
Little guy woke up at 5-o-fucking-clock and wouldn't go back to sleep so I've been up since then and I've just been shitty shitty shitty ever since. He played with my wallet and now both my money card and my credit card are now completely missing which I discovered at the counter of Warehouse Stationery.
Yelled at the Big Fella for pestering me to help him with his stupid computer game (which in hindsight wasn't a criminal offence but boy did I yell).. my temper was quick to rise and BAM there it was. YELLING YELLING YELLING.
I just feel really grumpy and tired and grumpy and tired just so tired. The house feels really dusty and gross and .. I think I just need a nap actually.
Usually I'd drink a bottle (and a bit) of wine at the end of a day like this and then sleep like crap and then feel even tireder tomorrow. So the wine doesn't make me rested. Does the wine help relieve any stress? No. Is the wine fun and naughty and does it take me away from my hard boring life as a housewife and mother of three? Yes!! Yes yes yes it does.
Don't worry I'm not going to drink. No way. I just have to live this shitty grumpy tired day and go to sleep tonight and maybe tomorrow will be easier.
Ok, a plan. 40 mins of hard-out cleaning to make me feel better about the house and then I can sit down to relax until Little Guy wakes up from his nap.
Love, Mrs D xxx
I LOVE THIS BLOG!!! You may not have had many readers when you started, as you mention, but I was looking for something exactly like this--real words from a real person about all the feelings and hurdles and hardships and successes of giving up the bottle--and I've found it. I am reading this literally from post to post, like a book. Thanks for putting your thoughts out there--I relate to so much of what you say. :) Have an awesome day.
ReplyDeleteI can only say 'ditto' to the post above!!! And by the way, I'm a Mrs D also, and have 3 kids, and am a housewife! How about that? Fun facts.
ReplyDeleteCoping with serious family sadness and the pull for a sedative to reduce the pain is huge but once again so pleased to wake with a clear head. And knowing that I haven't double stressed my system with alcohol. Just watched a cool Dry July video by Sam on Breakfast, and the poor female reporter who could so be me!!
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